aquaponics

a new category today. my second son and me are proceeding ahead with our aquaponics aspirations. our basic system, pump,pipes, plant trays, chilli seeds are already in place. we have 6 trays of 3 different configurations. inshaallah, 2 weeks from today those baby chili plants should be sprouting. tilapia and catfish are already in the tunnel ponds at our cafe. so everything is in place. next is to power the pump by solar energy.look forward to future postings and uploading of photos.

don't know what???

laughable malaysia, stolen jet engines,. f1 team, umno coming back in selangor????
apa nak di kato???
la-la land or lah-lah land

have a good night sleep!, look forward to another crackerjack tomorow!

where is the chinaman???, what a country!!!!

the stolen jet engine incident reminds of the saipem-peremba jv storeman for the petronas gas pipeline project from kapar to sitiawan many years ago. this storeman, a chinese guy of course was hired by saipem after he ingratiated himself with a senior construction engineer of saipem. both had previously worked in mmc for the first pipeline project from kerteh through peninsula malaysia. this storeman had a colleague who opened a hardware store not far from saipems store in kapar. so hardware , like hardhats, boots, etc ordered by saipem from the hardware store was placed into the storemans custody. not surprisingly , these hardware had a tendency to disappear, they were conveniently smuggled out back to the hardware shop. and saipem unwittingly ordered the very same stuff to replenish its store. its a cycle, many many purchase orders for basically the same hardware. i don't know whether saipem ever knew about this but am aware that the project manager, mr savini, had his suspicions.
so this jet engine case., i am willing to put down 1 ringgit and bet that there is a chinaman somewhere in this scheme as the malays in the RMAF are too conscientous like everywhere else

EN ASLAM GRIMSBY

TO EN ASLAM, SORRY I OVERLOOKED YOUR COMMENTS MADE ON 22ND NOV., I JUST DISCOVERED IT TODAY. YES I WAS THERE FROM 1974 TO 1976, THEN WENT TO CARDIFF UNIVERSITY. BY THE WAY, ARE MR SIM, MRS SPURGEON AND MR MCALWEE STILL THERE
BEST REGARDS
KHALID RAMLEE

foot cramps - good foot

occasionaly, i now have excruciatingly foot cramp at the big toe of my good foot, the sensation is like the muscles on my affected foot are straining and somehow pulling at those at the big toe of the good foot. the pain is around 3o seconds and it usually then disappears, after which i can feel some minor tingling of the muscles at my back. what is going on???. i take this as some sort of recovery process as the pain always goes away after a while but am perplexed as to the complexity of our muscles system which is structurally supporting our bones. what is going on????

IHSANS - strokee walker

all my children began to walk by being seated in a baby walker. it was our observation that these walkers made our babies walked earlier. so when my second son, ihsan, suggested a bigger version for me. i thought yes, why not??. brilliant!!!!. its such a simple idea as compared to all those strap contraption you get in the west. basic problem of strokee is balance, the fear of falling. an adult version of the baby walker will certainly help, as the strokee can confidently whizz around while seated in the walker and exercise the leg muscles at the same time. this is something else i want to do if money comes my way. brilliant ihsan!!!

BUSY ???NOT POSTING

HAVE BEEN PREOCCUPIED WITH ECONOMIC MATTERS LATELY, HAVE TO EARN SOMETHING TO KEEP GOING AND ALSO FOR MY CHILDREN.

spring in my affected leg

this morning walking exercise was phenomenal. at last i can feel the spring in the leg, alhamdulillah, inshaallah, i do believe that it is now a matter of continuing my walking theraphy, soon there should be some semblance of my previous walking motion.there is also more activity such as pins and needles, muscles aching at the shoulders,in my affected hand. i do believe recovery is in process. just time now. when.?. only allah knows. ya allah, please give me the strength and the will to continue.

BORN AGAIN????

i have this feeling that all the musibah in the first decade of the 21st. century is to cleanse me of all the bad things in my previous life before the major hikmah descends on me. inshaallah. lets wait patiently and hopefully there is more to report in the near future

latuks????

just curious???, how many datuks are there in the country???, the whole country seems to be infested with them.is it that easy to get one???, show the money, frump.., tomorow you are a datuk. when, i wonder would tan sris and tuns be up for sale/ auction???. no, not that i want to buy one, bo-fuluslah. just wondering where this country is heading.i guess, it would be easy to come up with some new titles, i got it, how about we have a nationwide competition for these awards, the winners will get the first one,suggestions, perhaps, kawan, macha, or how about taikor???cannot-lah, the whole country's male population is already either one of these., watchout, this might not be too far fetched, when all these latuks wakeup one morning and then find that everyone in the local pasar is a datuk, they will comeup with some new award schemes, just wait, i would wager 10cents that it will happen in another ten years from now.

egos bigger than bums

when egos are bigger than bums, it's a sure indication of?????????????????

still walking

every morning and afternoon, i am still doing my 1 lap around the house. the most noticeable change is that there is no more wobbling. i read somewhere that one needs to walk a few million steps before the walking automaticity sets in. looks like it's going to take a few more years to reach that milestone. well, i have the time, i am not in a hurry to join the rat race, get caught in traffic jams worry about car maintainance, petrol, tolls,hurrying for appointments, rushing to play golf , lake club is totally out of the question, the challenge is to keep myself busy and manage egos of people i interact with. this last part is the most mind wrenching and depression does set in from time to time, especially when there is no response to my sms and e-mail initiatives. must learn to manage this!!!!. how???. cut off the link or just utter inshaallah or keep persevering????, maybe have a checklist, persevere first, if fail 3 times then only cut off.that should be the SOP.!!!!

managing egos

i am a malay. my wife and children are malays. i live in a village full of malays, governed by malays. i am determined to change the malay mindset, so the first thing i will do is that as and when i encounter the malay malaise in my daily activity , i will post it in this blog and would invite all readers to recommend suitable remedies

alhamdulillah!!!

i got it now,today, what it is all about are managing egos.

LATUKS HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE.

HOLY COWS!!, HOW MANY LATUKS ARE THERE IN MALAYSIA, THEY SEEM TO BE EVERYWHERE. CAN ANYONE TELL ME???
OLD TAN HAD A LATUK, HIS LATUK MOOED HERE, MOOED THERE, GOT HIM AN APPOINTMENT, THATS MY LATUK. STOOOOP. NO!! NOT BY A LONG WAY , AM I JEALOUS, MAYBE SOME OF THESE LATUKS DESERVE THEIR BADGE OF RECOGNITION. IT'S JUST SEEMS TO ME THAT THIS HONOURABLE TITLE HAVE BEEN DEVALUED OUT OF PROPORTION. EVEN GANGSTERS ARE NOW DATUKS, MY DESERVING DATUK FRIENDS SURELY DESERVES BETTER COMPANY THAN BEING LUMPED WITH A LOT OF THESE ????????.

classes

what does classes signify???. isnt it a place where you go to gain knowledge????. knowledge!!!, not know edge. are the batik classes, the so-called production line batik classes now ran by some chinky firms in kl batik classes???. i dont think so. perhaps they should be rebranded as batik rip-offs. my classes will be different. it's to expose the young to the art of making batik and teach them the intricacies.inshaallah.
sorry guys there is no quick way to learn batik, it takes time , dedication and lots of interest. there is no short cut. you can drop some wax on the fabric and conteng within 5 minutes, but hangon thats not batik!!. thats contenging.

malay letter writing

have you ever noticed of how the malays are especially super crtical of other peoples work but yet very cross if their work are crticised. malays are very good at pointing out that the dots, crosses and comas are out of place, but ask them to write something??, it would be faster to reach the moon.

2nd cardiff gathering

it was a great day yesterday when a lot of the cardiff alumis of the 70's descended on our premises and many a long separated acquantance were renewed, a great mix, datuks and man freak and mat kent., food was superb and the crowning glory, the inimitable dancers from the pulau meranti school we could yet and are very much encouraged to turn this gathering into an annual event perhaps growing old together with lyanne batik

2ND CARDIFF GATHERING

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO TODAY, IT'S THE SECOND GATHERING OF ALL OF US WHO WERE STUDYING IN CARDIFF IN THE LATE 70'S. THIS TIME AROUND, FROM THE LISTS OF THOSE WHO HAVE CONFIRMED, IT LOOKS LIKE MORE KUTUS ARE CRAWLING OUT OF THE WOODWORK, VERY SUCCESSFUL KUTUS, MIND YOU. KUTUS WHO ARE NOW DATUKS!!!. IT WOULD BE A GREAT DAY I AM SURE AS THIS YEAR WE WOULD BE ENTERTAINED BY THE DANCERS FROM THE SCHOOL OPPOSITE, WHO ARE THE NATIONAL DANCE CHAMPIONS. THESE KIDS WOULD BE GOING TO LONDON LATER IN THE YEAR TO PERFORM. MAKING THAT TRIP WHICH ALL OF US DID MORE THAN 30 YEARS AGO.MEMORIES ARE FLOODING BACK,!! WHAT A JOURNEY??? .THIS GATHERING COULD GERMINATE INTO A MASSIVE FESTIVAL TEN YEARS FROM NOW, WHO KNOWS??. I ALREADY PROMISED MAZITA OUR CARDIFF PIN-UP GIRL, THAT IN THE TENTH YEAR OF THIS GATHERING, OUR GUEST OF HONOUR WOULD BE PINK FLOYD??, IF THEY ARE STILL AROUND.

MY WALKING

ALHAMDULILLAH, EVERY DAY THERE HAS BEEN SOME MARGINAL IMPROVEMENT IN MY WALKING ATTEMPTS. I AM POSITIVE THAT AT THIS RATE, WALKING RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE, INSHALLAH. IT'S JUST A QUESTION OF TIME, WHEN ????. I AM COMFORTABLE WITH MY CURRENT REGIME OF. KEEPING MYSELF BUSY BY WORKING ON THE COMPUTER, REGULAR SUPPLICATIONS TO ALLAH, WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE ONCE IN THE MORNING AND ANOTHER ROUND IN THE AFTERNOON, READING LOTS OF BOOKS AND CONTROLLING MY DIET.KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES.

the malay malaise

ever since my attempts to get back on track, around 1 year ago, never have the malaise of the malays been more pronouncedly brought to my attention. there were times when i call a government office to 9am or e-mail to a civil servant when i wouldn't receive any response for quite some times. the lACK OF THIS SIMPLE COURTESY TO JUST RESPONSE INITIALLY BEWILDERS ME, IT MAKES ME FEEL AS IF i had left this PLANET for awhile and then came back to a strange planet. forget the malay dilemna, imalaysia, melayu baru , malaysia boleh, or any of such like, the backwardness of the malays is down to 1 simple reason, lack of discipline!!!, thats it,that is what makes malaysia a rich ground for the mon-malays to prosper. by just adhering to some simple discipline, just like giving prompt response, keeping to schedules and tackling any issue head-on , the non-malays easily moves forward at lightning speed whilst the malays were still trying to figure what it is all aBOUT?btw, it's never malaysia boleh, if you study things carefeully, it had been mamak boleh! all the time. when will it ever be melayu boleh???., perhaps when the NEP IS TOTALLY ABOLOISHED??, OR WHEN THE BRITISH OR JAPANESE COMES BACK???, UNLIKELY, MOST LIKELY IF AND WHEN UMNO DISINTEGRATES???.NOT IN MY LIFETIME BTW, PERHAPS IN MY CICITS LIFETIME HOPEFULLY .INSHAALLAH. LIFE GOES ON.

turning 53 and still waiting

i turned 53 last week and was hopeful of some sort of present from god as i have dutifully followed and performed his exhortations. in this present world of instant everything, even gratification, this desire for some sort of magic is , i supposed, inbuilt in every one. alas, although, alhamdulillah, there was everyday some sort of improvements, a major swing was lacking, patience, thats the lesson for the moment, for me anyway. maybe at 55??????. inshaallah, never giveup, keep trying. surely god knows of my travails and perhaps timing is just not yet right. it makes me wonder, what else is it that i am not doing right?

malay sandiwara???

went to a hari raya gathering for the people of this constituency last sunday and came away feeling truly sorry for the malay community. nothing has changed!!!! it is the same old shit:-

1. even though starting time was supposed to be 8pm.. guess what???, invaraiably the so-called vips, unmno politicians of course!!! were 1 hour late!!! and when they arrive, it was with the inevitable fat wife and an entourage of bodyguardswannabes, whats new??, all balding. thank god they were not wearuing sunglasses. sunglasses at night??, that would have been the pits. there was , of course the rela ushers, all happily strutting about and thinking of when they will receive their stipends.
2. there was the inevitable lineups of locals kaypohchee who weremall lined up to offer their handshakes, hoping to shake the hands of these umno demigods!!!, fawning, luckily no ass was licked in sight of everyone.
3. the food was of course predictable, fried turd,no fried cakes fried that , and noodles and too sweet drinks..it is no wonder that the malay population are plagued by highblood pressure and diabetes
4. speeches were long, boring and of no substance.
this scenario, i bet, replicates itself all over malaysia in the last 3 weeks.
why was i there???. good question!, between you ansd me, it was to feel the hearbeat of the community. truthfully?, i was also hoping to catch the eye of one of these earthly demigods, to ask a favour from -lah!!!
no thank you, i can live without these shits.

mia - raya and busy

been a while since my last posting, what can you say??. it is the raya period and i have been busy working on a proposal to raise financing for the batik business. i am determined to do the proposal myself with a target of submitting to 5 financial institutions by 31st. dec2009.the more i delved deeper into the matter, the more i am convinced of it's viability. requires lots of hard work. but then, what doesn't??

royal spat

to those of us who have been aware of the shenanigans by our socalled royals, the current spat is not news but something that is true to form. what would one expect from descendants of pirates. there is the cd pirate, man, these are the original pirates. however much they would try to cleanse their piratical instincts by adopting the ways of the colonists, talkng in the old chap way, calling each other pete or bill, gulping wine, devouring reluctant maidens, making appearances in tattlers and others, they would not be able to shed the particular piratical DNA, i view these obscenity as allah reminding us that there is no other way but His, repent guys and gals, that is the only way, for next time, if there is one, it could mean the end. is this the beginning of the end????. my wish is that they could turn into the leaders thast we desperately need, that would be ny doa.

balik kampung

on the 2nd day of eid i went home to my kampung, what an eye-opener!!! the traffic was horrendous, bumper to bumper most of the way. so, this is what balik kampung have been reduced to, further enriching plus and petronas, if this is the norm, i would say no thank you. i don't need it . there will be a need to formulate a diffrent strategy next year , as the balik kampung ritual is great for my spiritual well being. what could beat the sight of my mothers joy in seeing that all her offspring are there together , imagine the beautiful thoughts that crossed her mind, she might have look at me and said to herself, my poor little boy, to my other siblings it would be that hey , they have turned out great by the way, decent human beings, my all those evenings nursing them ,life is great and all the toils and perseverance have been woth it, syukur alhamdulillah, allahuakbar!!. just the sight of my mother would be worth a million kilometres of traffic jams, much better than wading through the jam in k.l., where the only sight are more and more ugly condos,garish buildings and painful reminders of the carpetbeggars plundering our deal beloved land. and visiting my fathers grave brought outwards another wave of emotions that i cannot feel if i had stayed in k.l., bring it on, again and again, alhamdulillah

eid is here

alhamdulillah, on this eve of eid, as a result of the shahur my body is attuned to waking up early and as a result i have been on the pc for the last couple of hours. mind you , thats another benefit of the eid, training your mind and body to wake up in the early hours, get ready for suboh, put in a few hours of early work prior to that. how glorious the fasting is then, how many of us have tried to psyche ourselves to wake up and do the suboh prayers eveyday and how we had to resort to alarm clocks??, well, brothers and sisters, with ramadan fasting, your body and mind will automatically adjust to this schedule and achieved what winston churchill defined as getting 2 working days out of one, which include the necessary afternoon nap to compensate for the sleeping time. alhamdulillah, thats a secret that i just discovered and would definitely pass on to my children, inshaallah,who incidentally have breezed through the fasting month. another classic example of mind over matter.allahuakbar!!!

hariraya soon

the eid should be on this sunday and it would be the most meaningful eid of my adult life as i should by then, inshaallah, would have completed the msndatory 1 month of fasting. then, the next day, on t e second day of eid, we should all be shooting for kluang, my hometown, something i am really looking forward to , as i have not been able to do it ever since my affliction. it would be a glorious day to wakeup in my mother's house, visit my fathers grave and then chatting with my siblings, just like old time ,before the necessity to rush back to kuala lumpur amidst the inevitable highway traffic jam. thats eid here for you. its a wonderful feeling to be part of this great mass of people celebrating this once a year auspicious occasion.

fasting almost over

alhamdulillah, the fasting month is almost over and so far i have managed to observe it every day without fail. every morning i have managed to continue with my walking execise and thanks to god's grace my walking is getting steadier by the day, there is no more feeling of weakness in my affected leg although there has been a few instances of wobbling. i now have to lengthen the duration of the walking exercise and do believe that i shall regain my walking capability to an acceptable level in the not too distant future. then it would be time to do something about my affected hand, slow and steady exercise perhaps over a couple of years until an acceptable level is attained, inshaallah

nabo???

it seems that the description of the malays , NATO- no action, talk only, is very much outdated. a more apt word is now NABO, no action, bergaya only, yes, just like the italians, unfortunately. yes, dear wife, no action, just rhetoric, how sad!!

up yours, religious police

the recent comedown by the pahang religious custodian must be a tremendous moral victory for the model/ lady caught drinking beer , who then defied these very same religious authotities to cane her in public. i share her very same sentiment, that religion is between oneself and god. if one has erred, punishment will surely be meted by god , as is promised. and it's no business of anybody else. particularly in this case whereby she had publicly repented. is the comedown a caving-in to the loud negative publicity resonating outside and within the country. what sort of religious guardians are these, whose implementation of god's law are very much subjrcted to image and pr.

disturbing trends

re my concern with regards to the disturbing racial trends setting in, in malaysia, whoa, the cows head story in selangor signals an increasing deteroriation which worries me no end. my reading is that the incumbent federal government will not stop at anything in trying to unseat the selanor state pr government.and i can see them initiating this sorry episode where would all this lead to?????

wife - love/hate???

in the early years of my marriage, stories and jokes relating to the deteroriation of a marriage relationship always defy my reasoning. how could it be??? . now, having to undergo this irrational process myself, i can relate to this phenomena. how had it reached a stage now whereby communication is practically zero and the only bond seems to be the fact that we have children. dear god, please, why????.

burning mouth syndrome

for the last 3 evenings, prior to being able to go to sleep. i have had these hot burning sensation in my mouth, especially on the tip of the left hand side of my tongue, which was the stroke affected side. the pain sensation was excruciating for around half an hour and would then disappear as sleep sets in. perplexed, i surfed the net to find out why and much to my chagrin , most of the info relates to some sort of mysterious effect affecting particularly women in menopause. even my doctor brother was at a loss. quietly, i would like to attribute it to some sort of chemical recovery activity particularly impacting hormones/nerves in the mouth. could it be???. if anybody else out there has had this searing sensation and then cured, would appreciate you sharing the remedy with me, as the pain when it arrives is truly excruciating, like a million cili-padi resting at the tip of my tongue.what could it be ??/. my walking is coming around great and at times my locomotion is a joy. could it be that dear beloved allah is finally rewarding me for thwe fasting which i am practising now, never missed a day yet. alhamdulillah, allahuakbar!!!!

pulau meranti - happenings????

at the kenduri at my brother-in-laws house a few evenings ago, i was asked as to what is happening in pulau meranti???, stumped for a while, i was tight-lipped, as truth to tell, there hasn't been much hsppening lstely in pulau meranti, other than the flurry of terawikh activity due to the onset of the fasting moment.

still holding out

miraculously, today is the fifth day of fasting and i am still holding out, another 3 hours to go.inshaalah, hope that i can maintain this undertaking till the end.

puasa is here!!!!!

i cannot recall missing or absconding the puasa whilst in the royal military college in sg besi, so the rot must have begun from the time i commenced my "A"levels in grimsby college of technology. not surprisingly, away from parental control and authority supervision, my weakness in mind allowed the reason for not fasting to steadily fester in my inner thoughts. so for years fasting period was nothing more than an irritant that was superfically observed and on a lucky day brings as it's reward, heaps of oily food.the situation deteroriates and spiralled downwards to such an extent where there were occasions when i would be at royal lake club bar serenading with my so-called friends even during the fasting month. mashaallah!!!!! now, into my fourth day of fasting, i am at last aware and understand all it's benefits, it's not easy, my craving for drinks and cigarette have to be continually slapped down, but for the moment i am winning, always fortified by the thoughts that my seventy year over old mother is herself at this moment in mecca,supplicating for my recovery among many others. if she is making all that sacrifices, what little i can do, pales in comparison

dangerous talks and a climate of uncertain

very much in the news nowadays are the very intensified confrontation between the government and the opposition pakatan. i have delayedthis posting to give me adequate time to ponder on the issue. well, i am now more convinced than ever that all these politicians from both sides are dangerously fanning the race issue, to an extent that i was privy to a private conversation between 2 kampung buddies wherein the non-malays are now the culprits in the H1N1 case, it being a larger conspiracy involving non-malay doctors to kill off the malays. can you believe that?????
thank god puasa, is here, perhaps cooling all this useless ardour.

our government , malays - pesta, kenduri

have anyone ever noticed that the malays and our government, who are predominantly malays would embark on a pesta, kenduri on the slightest excuse, whether promoting a new mass indoctrination, celebrating birth or death or hariraya, in short in any gathering of bodies, and on all these occasions there is the inevitable tonnes of food, mainly junk food.could any anthropologist or wannabe social commentator out there tell me, what is the appropriate name for this syndrome???

i can see clearer today

today, 14th. aug2009, is perhaps the clearest i can see in a long, long time. i guess the thing to do is stay put on this land, nurture our veritable hj.sedik whose job is in turn to secure the participation of the erstwhile tn hj. suhaimi ghazali as our chairman and patron. that , i believe is the road to pursue, inshaallah, we seek allah's quidance and his provenance to lead us to the best path.

walking is easier

syukur alhamdulillah, my daily walking is now easier but today am utterly depressed as nothing seems to be going right on the commercial front. dear god, what else do i need to do, or do i just wait patiently till october comes. please make it easier for me and please guide me towards the right path, ya allah.

NISFU SYAABAN

YESTERDAY, 6TH. AUG 09, WAS A SIGNIFICANT DAY AS IT WAS THE DAY OF WHAT WE MUSLIMS REFER TO AS THE NISFU SYAABAN, WHICH LITERALLY MEANS THE DAY WE START A NEW BOOK, I.E. STARTING A NEW CHAPTER IN OUR LIFE.so , the night before some of my siblings and my children, my mother,and yours truly had an informal prayer session to mark this occasion. for me, it was especially poignant as i would like to think that yesterday mark the beginning of my new post-stroke life.one that i am determined to incorporate all the lessons i had absorbed in the last 4 years, one that i dare hope will be more meaningful, fruitful and rewarding spiritually, financially and physically.
i marked the day by holding a first meeting among people whom i would wish to be close to and play a major role in my life, my second son ihsan, my new friend from this village . tuan hj sidek and a simple wonderful acquaintance, en hussain., in my future undertakings. it was a wonderful meeting and i would like to think that these confidants understood what i am trying to do with my life. i leave to god to determine this future path but i shall endeavour to shape it incorporating all the lessons that i have lived the last 52 years.inshaallah, allahuakbar.

back online with strokenet

i stroked in july 2005, registered as a member of strokenet in 2006, then forgot my password and couldn't get past the infernal machine, so gave up and do other things with my newly stroked self. then yesterday i decided to mail to strokenet to get my password and thankfully ms donna straugh promptly replied to my query. so, yes , i guess i am back online in strokenet and what a relief, i felt energised and promptly commented on aussie kens latest posting, aussie ken is my favourite blog in strokenet and most days i would open his blog to view his latest posting, as i can see a lot of similarity between aussie ken and myself in our efforts to recover. so guys and gals , welcome to my blog and do expect me to be an active participant in strokenet, god bless you all.

worms crawling out

now that the news of my intended sale is common knowledge, all the kampung worms are crawling out.

assalamualaikum, inshaallah, alhamdulillah, subhanallah, allahuakbar

in mid 1980, newly returned from mighty cardiff wales with an honours degree to boot, and fancying myself as the proverbial welsh /malay upstart, i was condescending towards all those low-life provincial country bumpkins who endlessly utter any of the above words and diligently avoid them whenever possible.Words uttered which i believe were merely facades of singular backwardness and devoid of transparency. why, it's so easy, somebody ask you to do something and even though you very well know that you can't or won't do it, out comes " inshaallah".so shallow onelah!!!1. why cant they just say NO like they want to!!!!!!. now, 4 years post-stroke , i am wising up to the magnificience of the above words, words extolled in all kitab about islam, words that ensures one remembers ALLAH at all times and remembers that ALLAH is the primemover in everything that happens to us or in our lives.incantations that the malays used so cheaply to explain every act, good or bad. let me elaborate further below , and continually upgrade this post, as i solemnly believe that these wonderful words have been utterly abused by the malay race and is significantly the SINGLE cause of the backwardness or failure of the malays due to its misuse. read further next time and you will follow what i am trying to say. inshaallah.

what the malays forgot was that these words are only effective in gods law if and when you have tried your very best and not just mere words untuk menyedapkan hati!!!!!!!.not to just utter and then set aside

all's well hj sidek - inshaallah

in kampung pulau meranti, hj sidek is our resident kaypochee secretary, he wants to be involved in everything thats going on here and he is a dab hand at ensuring your kenduri or function are well organised and attended to.a perfectly harmless retiree who is very much involved in the school, mosque, jkkk, umno , rela, kubor and whatever others that i am not aware of,put it this way , whatever is the happening in pulau meranti or within it's vicinity, never doubt that hj. sidek will be there, why???, only this morning, he was right there at the scene of a nasty accident involving some lim kok wing students. thats hj sidek, a one-man secretarial outfit and bearer of news, a very useful person to get on your side and to know better. he was the man instrumental in my attending the dr jism theraphy, diligently picking me up every morning at 8a.m., theraphy and then breakfast of teh tarik, roti canai or telur or sometimes thosai.

so, you can imagine my incredulity when on last tuesday morning i got a sms from hj sidek that he doesn't want to have anything to do with my efforts to secure the loan or alternatively sell my property. my initial reaction was that our beneficient ketua kampung,kk, hj muslim had got to him, as you see this kk fancies himself as the warlord in this kampung, and thus have this swagger that anything happening here must go through and of benefit to him.i was despondent for awhile, as dealing and talking with hj didek was less stressful than with the kk.
so you can imagine my mini elation last night when hj sidek sms's me and said that he will pick me up at 8.30 this morning for the theraphy. this morning , after an interrupted theraphy, see there was a power failure, or al-jabbar hadn't paid the bill, not sure which one and not waiting to find out which, there was me and hj sidek adjourning to our latest mamak shop, opening our hearts out. short of crying on the spot, i would imagine that things are now hunky dory between us. of course, only time will tell,in the meanwhile , it seems that kk has gone awol, after the superficially initial enthusiasm, well as the good wife days, good riddance to bad rubbish. lets see whats kk next move in the next couple of weeks, if anything, this supreme umno kk toll collector must be taught a lesson, but thats not for me, i am absolutely certain allah will take care of him.hopefully mercifully.
thats it, looks like hj sidek and me are friends again, aaaaaagh, a happy ending for once, no, not yet, maybe the beginning of a possible happy ending, inshaallah.

time management

whether in a government office full of malay beauracrats or dealing with malay businesspersons or attending a malay kenduri or wedding or some sort of frivolous functions, why is that, the malays seem unable to grasp the simple concept of being on time, or on schedule or whatever. it is ridiculous that some take this as a virtue when we all know that it's one of the essentials of efficiency. so the malays are likened to the italians, biar bodoh tapi bergaya or simply bodoh sombong. is this our heritage??????. who was the first malay who was so popular in not keeping to schedule so much so that an entire race ape him????, or her??//. this is the person responsible for our backwardness, so you arch-nationalist malay historian or anthropologist, please find this person as he/she deserves to be the ultimate malay hero/heroine, in my book anyway. much better than hang tu or hang ni, whichever way you are inclined.

ketua kampung scam

inspite of the governments claim of stimulus package, developing bumiputera businessmen and others, to date we have failed to secure financing to expand our infant business which we believe has tremendous prospect. i do believe that all those various institutions, smidec, sme bank and others are just a convenient means to feather the bed of socalled special intrests groups who are living the good life using the peoples money. so our only other alternative is to sell the land here where we are doing business.

yet again, another firmly entrenched scam seems to be rearing it's head. yesterday morning, i had a call from our ketua kampung saying he has to see me urgently as he has a potential buyer who wants to view our land urgently. i of course agreed, he came soonest and shove a letter for me to sign and say that the buyer is coming at 2p.m. with his lawyer. i of course signed the letter as it's no more than a simple letter authorising him to look for a buyer.a worthless piece of paper if you ask me. So, i waited and waited but no buyer came. called him this morning and he said that the buyer had some other urgent things to attend to. tell you what, i smell a lousy stinking fish here. could all this be a scam???. wallahualam!!!!. so the best thing to do and only thing i can do now is to bereserah kepada ALLAH, i am certain ALLAH WILL PROVIDE FOR US, INSHAALLAH.

pusat kesihatan putrajaya

yesterday, my wife took me to the pusat kesihatan putrajaya to see a dentist to attend to my tooth and tongue problems. thank god, one of her clients, a nurse called kak su worked there, thus within not very long i was ushered in to see a doctor wan" something", a nice doctor. who checked my teeth for not more than ten minutes, and then proceeded to prescribed some medications. these worked as the pain and agony subsided.
my impressions of the pusat is favourable. inspite of the numerous thronging patients, things proceeded well, everybody seems to be attended to, a far cry from situation at the emergency room of the putrajaya hospital, where waiting seems to be the prescribed medicine. at last, i can see where all the money the government poured into healthcare being well put to use for the public's good.my first impressions were that "-

1. the patients were predominantly malays.
2. although the governments pharmacy had been so-called nationalised, the foreign drugmakers must be the one laughing to the bank, as the pharmacy seems to be dishing out medicines like a minimarket
well, all in all a major improvement than what was available before.

lyanne natural batik - pulau meranti

whilst most of the postings in the last few months has been about me, i feel that now is the right time to change name again to encompass everything that i am doing and especially our intention to further develop our little piece of land and the batik buasiness, especially our desire to adopt natural (green)practices in everything that we do. in a nutshell , what we are trying to do are:-

1. develop our batik business by adopting natural dyes, specifically indigo.
2. develop our cafe to serve healthy food and drinks.
3. grow and rear our own food needs by adopting simple natural ways such as aquaphonics and free-range husbandry.
4. adopt green technologies such as solar energy and rainwater harvesting so as to reduce our carbon footprint and stop contributing to the extortionate utility companies, specifically with regards to electricity and water.
5. to grow together with the kampung folks of kampung pulau meranti.

no pain, no gain

whoever coined this saying must be a member of a family or village where there were a lot of people suffering various ailments and then had the privilege of observing family members or neighbour miraculously recovering after undergoing various stages of pain. nevertheless, he or she must be english , as the words are doubtlessly english. sorry-lah malay nationalist, next time maybe,
alhamdulillah, the left side of my tongue, which had remain dormant for 4 years, is currently in pain, there is an excruciating burning sensation which comes and goes., my , the pain, i am almost in tears.only sleep brings a welcome relief. what is happening??? could this be the beginning of the end of my stroke affliction??? could the cure be very slowly immersing itself into the left side of my body????. could the cure begins from the tongue, then travel downwards to my upper limb( hand) and then to my left leg. not entirely true, over the last 1 year, there has been this twitching sensation on the left side of my face which had been itching, which had been attributed to dry skin by my budding doctor son. ya allah, please let it be the oncoming of the cure,my fate is yours, i succumb to your succour, i redha to whatever you have in store for me, allahuakbar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

pouring rain at last

when i was a contractor, pouring rain signifies anguish frustration at the inability to execute the jobs in accordance with schedules. now, after a long continuous scorching hot period, the rain that came a pouring today, is a welcome sight and sound, man, my ponds need water, alhamdilillah to god's gift. let it pour!!!, let it pour!!!.
what a relief to the toiling farmer that a heavy rainpour brings, screw the contractors, it's a dead-end activity anyway. let them all abandon this hateful activity which only brings ravages to mother earth, breeds corruption and greed and untold misery to foreign workers, subcontractors, suppliers. there are other more rewarding ways to lead this life on earth.fellows, follow me to back to nature.

life

i have reason to be ponderous today as 2 things struck right at the epicentre of my being :-

1. are my enemies to be hated???
2. The pursuit of happiness???, efficiency or inefficiency

1. enemies, what is the definition of enemy??. isn't it someone who has caused harm to you??? or is it someone who is to all intent and purpose, out to destroy you???. basing on this assunption then mamak iqbal is my only enemy. my wife and her chemor friends are in a different category. they are not out to destroy me but perhaps they were just god's instruments in reshaping my decadent existence, the drinking, karaoke, gambling.ok, i can forgive the chemor bumpkins but my wife???, shouldn't the relationship be" in health and sickness??/."forgive and forget", yes i can and will forgive but forgetting is not possible, the loss of my company, breakup of the family and my stroke, these are real events that happened to me, not easily forgetten but it is my earnest desire to learn all the lessons and reshape my being, which brings us to the second issue

2. for most of my adult life, the pursuit of efficiency was paramount to my existence, efficiency to secure and execute one contract after another. so much so that time was really the only essential essence. in this pursuit, most of the simple fundamental tenets of life was thrown out and ignored, corruption and bribing was standard practice, instant gratification in the form of alcohol and easy sex was devoured without a second thought.inefficiency was looked down upon and made a mockery of. the malay mentality was despised and shunned. this morning, 2 simple incidents brought back to me the joy of simple things., firstly in the car sending my children to school, it took an eternity for my dear wife to sort out my youngest children's outing to the cinema this afternoon, she patiently go over the motion of booking the tickets much to my chagrin. i said to myself, hold on, why not just give them the bloody money to go and let them sort it out. then it struck me that the simple motion of ensuring the tickets were appropriately secured, would heighten the bond between parent and child. then 2 lovely young ladies came to our facility to undertake their art practical. no strutting about, just straight down to the simple expedient of their batik piece, that done, they proceeded to sit down facing each other and enjoy a very very simple morning snacks of some sort of fast food, no fuss about teh tarik, roti canai or nasi lemak, just happily munching away and talking about things in their life, nothing complicated or tiring about the shenanigans of our politicians. ya allah!!, a simple ritual of munching snacks after a job done. so simple !!!, not about how fast it took, or how many strokes involved or the cost of the whole exercise. inefficient, yes!!!1, yet so simple and simply satisfying. thank you girls, you have shown me the way. allahuakbar???.

lying low

considering all the shenanigans of our govt and it's instruments of terror and unfortunately also the lack of direction and confidence in it's alternative,pkr, its best to just lie low now and think of the hereafter where things should be more promising, inshaallah.

unusual tiredness - good news???

i am still feeling unusually tired and have completely missed sending my children to school in the morning. perplexed by this unusual condition my analysis is that it's all a good sign. i searched my brain but came up with nought, i have not done anything physically exhausting so why???. then i remembered reading somewhere that the brain is the most energy predator of all the body's organ. could it just be that part of my brain that was adversely affected by the stroke is at last waking-up as a result of better bloodflow resulting from the drjism theraphy, could it be??? , ya allah. i espoused this theory to my medical student son over kunch and he concurred that it's possible. so could this be te beginning of the end????, inshaallah, alhamdulillah, only time will tell, allahuakbar!!!

unusually tired, dah tua???

i have been feeling extraordinarily tired the last few days, as freddie mercury says" body aching all over" what could be the cause?, as i haven't been extraordinarily active considering my incapacity. has old age sets in???.death doesn't scare me, but having to lead an old invalided life does scare me, because it's such a pitiful existence, incontinence, memory loss, wearing pampers, teeth falling out, now i feel helpless, there's nobody to accompany me on this journey, my wife already gone into her own fantasy world, perhaps to escape the agony, that has always been her way, escape, run away, never one to face the inevitable, that's my dear wife. i can't!!, there's a lot of unfinished work, especially with regards to ensuring to a certain extent, that all my children have a secure footing to start their adult life.that's my goal and duty, inshaallah, ya allah, please give me the strength.

port dickson day trip

yresterday, i accompanied the boss to port dickson . she was on a sales trip to a school there, inshaallah there should be some good news sometime next week. the most memorable part was a most wonderful fish and chips lunch, the dory fish was absolutely succulent, at the regency resort.

end of another theraphy

the loan of the drjism theraphy machine to me should end today as al-jabbar have asked for it. i would like to continue but the boss, my wife, has refused to pay for it. what to do??? that's the repercussion of handing over to her the family's finances. i only wish to say thank you al-jabbar , especially zuland faiz and nik at the outlet in putra perdana.

tukar lagi

flip-flop was used to describe pak lah policy making but i would think that it's more apt to ascribe it to umno's education policy, ever since after khir johari, every umno education minister has tried to demonstrate their nationalist credential by instituting education policies that has now destroyed our education system, this includes anwar ibrahim and his bahasa baku. i think that umno's education minister each have a printing press. can you imagine the amount of printing required after each policy change???. man, our children are now confused, NO WONDER ,ANY OF OUR GRADUATES HAVE DIFFICULTY FINDING JOBS, WITH A CONSTANTLY CHANgING EDUCATION POLICY, NO WONDER. our education system inherited from the british was eorking well, as it is.

almost a perfect day

today, 8th.july2009 was almost a perfect day till midday anyhow. slept on the drjism mattress till 4 a.m., then sembahyang tahajjud, suboh,read yassin, sent the kids to school, walking exercise around the house, then to the theraphy in putra perdana where at the end of it, i coaxed myself to walk out of the theraphy room towards hj sideks van. alhamdulillah, inspite of a few occasions when my right hand automatically reach for the nearest chair or wall, this feat was achieved, tomorrow, no reaching for the chair/wall would be the target. anyway, then proceeded to have my thosai breakfast with a piece of curried fish, felt great, must be that humongous walking effort or was it che u nik's beautiful smile,how the mind can play games with you. back to the house, walked to the cafe and then back to my room, all unaided.went on the net and then disappointment sets in, no replies to my various overnight mail.sabar, thats the lesson, must adjust to tune my brain to malaysian ways, no problem, i am still alive, alhamdulillah

gathering budak budak cardiff

syukur alhamdulillah, looks like jamil was the right to start the ball rolling in organising a gathering of all my peers who were in cardiff in the mid-80's. inshaallah, they should all gather here on 25th.oct, still a long way off, but no harm in getting it moving early.

unclogging the pipes

a lifetime of junk food, goreng sini, goreng sana,nasi lemak, more than 30 years of smoking, man thats a hell of a lot of clogging of the pipes in my body , and valiant though dr jism's machine is, how long will it take those static current waves to do it's job??? if only there is away to measure the progress, you know just like those blue downloading indicator, so at best now all i can say is that ," at least something positive is going on, those waves working night and day. now it's just like tm internet connections, damn slow, what we need is a faster broadband, inshaallah, a few more months, my target is another 418 days anyway.

little josephines

politicians justify their inaction by pointing out at little napoleons sitting squatly in their chairs twirling their thumbs and blocking every of their initiatives, thus transferring blame for inactivity to the civil service. i beg to differ and would forward herewith that greater damage is inflicted by the little josephines who are now in work in greater numbers. they are stupid, vindictive creatures who were most likely mollycuddled by indulgent parents thus growing up believing in themselves to be little princesses and thus prone to putting up obstacles in the manner of frustrated failed actress/queen wannabees.the caveman was right, women should stay at home where their natural place is.

malaysian rituals - tahlil arwah

my dear youngest sister, the fantastic lawyer jamaliah, organised a tahlil arwah on saturday evening, in memory of those who we fondly love and those whom we briefly knew orcrossed our path . it was a great evening and i was deeply touched by my nephews rendering the doas after the yassin reading. man my youngest sister has got everything right, wonderful husband and great children. the evening was occasioned ny my mothers cooking, especially some simple nasi lemak and ubi kayu with sambal tumis , and my other sister's fried meehoon. just simple food but with great fantastic taste, much to my liking, a great reminder that my mother is a fantastic cook., syukur alhamdulillah

spring in my affected leg

continued over the weekend with the dr jism theraphy 3 to 4 hours in the afternoon and 6 to 7 hours at night. just maybe that today there is a lot more spring in my leg and some tingling under the armpit, however still don't feel stable, the thought of falling is still there, thus still walking with caution. too early to tell, perhaps after 1 month, there will be some significant improvement, inshaallah

child of the NEP

i was a child of the nep,among thousands snatched away from our mother's bosom, from the fringes of malaysia's emerging cities and small towns to the depth of its predominant jungles, we were coaxed to institutions such as mckk,rmc, sekolah menengah sains where the ritual of thought provocation commences, then packaged as a promising goods right after "o"levels, and freighted to various so called dominant nations, england, usa, australia, to be further grounded till a piece of paper is awarded, b.sc. , ba, mba, whatever and returned to be the instruments of progress that our political masters wish to engineer, as they themselves are too lazy and insufficiently suited to perform, pampered then discarded as we get lost in the maelstrom of having a life. never for a moment were we informed that to reach the apex, membership of any of the bn component parties is a must. man, what a letdown, seeing that 50 years later, your schoolchums who stayed behind and climb the political ladder are now running the roost, jeez , the nep, yeah it got me to london, but i could have done without it.

money

early on in my working carrier, money was easily procured, salary and perks, especially benefits in kind, kept increasing from one job to another . then when i went into business from 1993 till the year 2000, man it pours, not just cash but my banker, pubic bank, was easy in their lending. with the slightest of effort, i would easily secure a project or bank funding. not now, i have been trying for almost a year, but still unable to secure not even 1 cents of funding, inspite of the beloved PROJEK RANGSANGAN OF OUR NEW PRIME MINISTER. MY DEAR PM, where are all the rangsangan money???. is it because i am not an UMNO member or not related to an UMNO stalwart??? i am desperate to do business, i have the knowledge, i have the collateral. why is it so difficult for me to secure funding???. ya ALLAH!!!!, what else do i need to do??? i have turned to you,seek your assistance, do my prayers, avoid whatever you beseech, why?????. all i want is to do something, contribute to society, guide my second son and then wait for your calling. money?, i have felt and tasted, it definitely is not the root of all evil, living is easier in this world with money. too much money is definitely a no, no. just enough to lead a meaningful life, cukuplah, dear allah

minute improvements

after 3 nights of dr jism theraphy, each night around 7 hours, there is perhaps a minute 1%improvement in my walking capability. difficult to fathom, but i do feel that my walking efforts are slightly easier. could it be a placebo effect or could it be that my mental frame is now better????. whatever it is i will continue selagi berdaya 7 hours at night and 3 hours in the afternoon. thanks a million al-jabbar.

wonderful dr jism

you know, whoever is behind this dr jism, i heard it's a guy called en kamarulzaman, is a wonderful, great guy. with free theraphy at various outlets in malaysia, indonesia and brunei, he is giving hope to thousands and mind you, where there is hope, there is life god bless you en. kamasrulzaman. i , of course have an ulterior motive in writing all this, if he could just loan me the machine for a while, i am quietly confident that i should recover my walking to a reasonable extent, perhaps with a limp, inshaallah.

stroked - 4th anniversary - god's gift, syukur alhamdulillah

you know, this mind that god gifted us is amazing, just by convincing myself this morning that my stroke is god's gift, i am feeling buoyant all this morning. yes, it's been 4 years since i stroked. some might say" how time flies". i would only say wow!!!!. what a journey. it was a free gift from allah, if i may elucidate herewith:-

1). the agony- physical - yeah being disabled means i can't drive to anywhere, cannot amble at a reasonable clip around my land, can't write, can't perform acrobatic sexual needs. why even shitting is a torment.

but, mind you i am still breathing, alhamdulillah, other people now drive me so no worries about petrol, toll, road tax, vehicle maintainance and most crucially, traffic jams additionally, bless malaysians, everywhrere i go don't have to worry about parking , yes oku parking right at the front.. cannot amble, ok i am now forced to appreciate the beauty and intricacies of nature at every step, everything was new to me, even the much despised lallang. can't write, wow what a good excuse not to write anything, there is the pc keyboard anyway, can't perform , thats ok, i let my partner do the acrobatics and just lie on my back and shout ahhhhh. it's my turn to say it's too bigggg. shitting is now almost back to normal, once a week, every monday morning.

2). mental agony :- initially , it was a time of why me?? what have i done to deserve it???,
eventually, wow great, this is god's greatest gift, a reminder for me to alter my wayward ways, where others aspire to be more religious in later life and failed, i am forced to slow down and turn to allah, as thats my only salvation. so, friends, the mandatory prayers are now automatic to me. this affliction is also a cleanser of all my previous sins, inshaallah, heaven awaits me, with all those wonderful virgins and flowing rivers underneath the abode.

yes, i have had a free education, compliments of allah. it's all free , no charges, no 2 plus 1 or 3 plus 1,syukur alhamdulillah.ALLAHUAKBAR
watch out world, i will be back sooner than you think!!!!!



basck to my aspirations, in my previos adult .life, i was a closet socialist, inshaallah, this affliction has reminded me where my sentiments and conscience lies, my reason of living is to make a difference to all trhe small people using my super god given intwellect, ALLAHUAKBAR!!!!.


so, to end this wonderful expiatuion before i get carried away, again allahuakbar , to all the friends i have made in the last 4 years and those who have been there for me, most especially my wonderful sisters and brothers and not least my mother, i love you all and god bless you.

dr jism theraphy. - second night

last night was the second night i laid on the mattress, this time for 7 hours. strange is i don't feel anything, no tingling sensation, nothing. however, when i touched another person or one of my children, there us that spark crossing the gap between our fingers and when my leg touched the rim of the bed , there is that tingling sensation for a brief period.
i would like o think that when i lay on the mattress, there is this small army of static current waves in hard hats and safety vests hard at work chipping away at the plaque inhibiting my vessels and veins, it would be great if there is an equivalent to the mri machine taking an image of the chipping progress, that way one can estimate how long the chipping process will take. at the moment it's just relying on trust and belief in the principle of the matter, due to the lack of any other verifying methodology, perhaps the makers of dr jism can explore this, after all seeing is believing.thanks a million, anyway. btw, at the moment i have yet to feel any momentous difference, sabar saja ya.

commencing dr jism evening theraphy

yesterday, 30th.june2009, en zul, the person in-charge of this free theraphy in putra perdana, delivered a set of the theraphy machine to my house. he was kind enough to let me try it out first, so last night over nine hours, i had my first session at home, whilst asleep. i was imagining all these little bombardments of electrical static waves coursing through my veins and blood vessels in their glorious efforts to cleanup all these pipes which i have abused in the last 52 years. being an engineer and then subsequently a contractor in the gas pipeline business, i can relate to this methodology to clean up the pipes, thats what needs to be done o get the clogged pipes working again. i am utterly convinced of the efficacy of this methodology, yeah clean the pipes first, let the blood flow, then strengthen them and train them via repetitition aka pavlov's dog. the only downside is that it will take quite sometime, quite how long, i hasten to guess. so i was imagining all these waves bombarding all the filth all night last night and was looking forward to some good news, alas, not after one night lah, this is going to take some time, nevertheless i should reach there, inashaallah.it was a great feeling to begin the unclogging process, will keep posting everyday here, i anticipate 3 to 4months of wave bombardment before there is any significant improvement, so october is a month to look forward to other than the looming raya which is beckoning over the horizon. thank you en zul and aljabbar

dinner at dollah's

great food, lovely company, long never seen friends, fantastic location, these in essence were last night's dinner. dollah, or more appropriately, dato dollah and datin aiza were the perfect host and hostess. i feel so lucky to be invited, the food was fantastic, thank you dato, don't forget me in future and you and family are welcomed here any time.

RAN AWAY!!!!

HEARD THAT THE MF EXTORTIONIST iqbal feiruz khan HAS FLOWN THE COOP, pakistan would be a good place for him to run to, let all those upright taliban pathans skin this evil boy, boy,boy.boy and ram em up his you know what!!!!good riddance to trash, yeah.

dinner at dollahs

i am so excited today as tonight i have been invited by dollah rahman, a friend from my university days in cardiff, the one living on miskin street yes. dollah is now a very very senior officer in the pwd, public works department, bless him, there is not many a kinder and gentler soul than this fine man with the soothing voice and guitar talents. aka hendrix. the icing on the cake is that the guest of honour would be datuk jimmy hassan, the pwd director of roads. man, this man has done very well for himself, with a datukship and phd (ship???) to boot. great on you red rum, my mate. boleh tolong dapatkan kontrak jalan tak, brother mi, nak beli ubatlah bang!!!

dr jism theraphy

my regular weekly massage with abang miz ended on thursday the25th.june 2009. i ended it as i strongly feel thats as far as the theraphy with abang miz can go and i got the distinct feeling that even he was getting exasperated. he tried his best and i would like to feel that i was a model patient to him, unfortunately god is still holding-up my full recovery. there is still something not right with my reformation, now it's for me to ponder and find out.
unexpectedly, my good friend in this kampung, hj sidek, offered to bring me to the above theraphy, held in putra perdana, which is only a 5 minutes drive from my house.it's a simple machine-based theraphy to clearup any clogged vessels or veins, so i went first time on the morning of thursday the 25thjune 2009. first time out, there was no reaction, even the much-talked about electrical spark that could ensue if you touch another. the 2nd time on friday the 26th. the spark materialises and subsequently my day was a long and tiring one, i slept for almost12 hours that friday. today, the 27th of june, whilst sitting on the mat for my third theraphy, it seems that all the joints in my foot was straining, quite painfully. this went on for around 5 minutes and the pain was not only excruciating but blessedly bearable. thank god for all these reactions, alhamdulillah, reaction based on newtons law are a consequence of some sort of action, thus it could only be a good sign of the efficacy of the theraphy. next step is to gradually convince my dear wife to purchase the machine, thus enabling me to continue the theraphy at home at any time, especially during the sleeping hours, the machine can be configured to work to up to ten hours, fingers crossed , inshaallah. don't you dare say, not another one!!!. mygod, whilst there is still life in this body of mine, i will continue to try and tery, it's there around the corner, only when??? inshaallah

another bites the dust- dear ravi

well, it's inevitable isn't it??? over the last 15 years, dear dr ravi has been the pillar of the batik bar at the royal lake club, the club where i hanged out from 1980 till struck down by stroke in 2005. literally, dr ravi singlehandedly propped up the pillar near the darts corner.he was a very important member of the bar significantly more important than any office bearer, even the president himself. his demise would be a great loss to the bar and i dare say , irreplaceable. he was a great friend, someone whom i could talk to or call at any time. it is my great regret that i am unable to attend to his farewell, my heart is with you doc and i am very sure i will see you again somewhere,someday. take a good rest doc, and may yourest be a peaceful one

lyanne batik in milan,italy.

after almost 2 weeks our product has still not reached it's destination in milan, no thanks to the incompetence of pos malaysia. how can we in malaysia start to take on the world when the simple matter of delivering a package to italy takes more than a week???. to ensure timely delivery , in future, we will have to resort to using one of the established but reliable forwarder such as ups or fedex, which will cost either us or the purchaser three times more. i beseech pos malaysia to wakeup and get things right. what a cockup!!!

inspector singh investigates

this fictional account by a singaporean lady by the name of shamini flint which i am just about to finish has riveted me today , primarily because the shenanigans of the lead female role reminded me of my wifes shenanigans and the other being the fact that this lady author took a swipe at malaysia with her sarcasms wherever there exist a schasm for her to, good plot too. the main character, inspector singh, would make a great south-east asian version of inspector clouseau, can you just imagine all the baiyee jokes that can be introduced??? well worth the rm35it cost, no classic but readable.expect more inspector singh investigates followup book to come, my advise to ms shamini, do interspersed all the serious stuff with some singh jokes

petronas - hands off.

it seems that many now fancy themselves taking over from hassan marican in doing the job of running ptronas, many names have been tossed around. hassan of course have been there for a whil, the man has done a tremendous job and now deserves a break , to tke it easy and most likely retire back to sungai petani. who would be the best candidate?????. definitely not the laughable politicians and other upstarts.there are enough talents in the senior echelons who were handpicked by hassan and know very intimately the workings of the oil and gas industry. my 2 cents worth is that firstly petronas inner workings should be made transparent before hassan is replaced, andmen of calibre firstly appointed to the board. hassan's greatest feat was to take the bull by the horn and stamped his very distinct personality in taking petronas forward, firstly with the backing of tan sri basir, then tan sri azizan, thats his greatest legacy

lyanne batik in milan,italy.

does privatisation, which is really just name changing, some new logos and a lot of so called rebranding makes one more efficient??. continue wishing. poslaju promised us that the goods would be delivered to milan within 4 working days, bullshit???. change now to ptl, pos tak laju. yes privatisation is a myth, at the end of the day, if you are 1 big inefficient slumbering prontosaurus, rebranding only eNriches the signs contractor, don't they get it??? most importantly it's the human capital!!!!

not so dear wife.

mans dreaming of killing his wife or clobbering her with the club in order to go to the club , has been around since perhaps adam first lay eyes on eve. why it is even claimed that eve was the guilty party who led adam towards that infamous tree.
much as i have harbored the thoughts, it was only yesterday, friday 19th. june 2009, that i snapped and chase the wife out of my house. well, it's already done and thank heavens she's out together with her ridiculous brass bed. as for me, what the hell, one thing less to worry,no, i do not mean that, just my anger dictating my sanity, i love her tooo much

is it too late???

in 1963, there was malaysia, supposedly a new nation cobbled together from disparate british outposts. then in the early 80's Utama signifies to the minibus drivers that you are heading to damansara utama, so hang on tight and hold fast to the aluminium bar at the door, along the road of what is now the ldp. then in the nineties there arrived 1UTAMA, a premier shopping haven serving the fast growing suburb of??? , what else, bandar utama. 5o years down the road since the false independence, where are we now, yeah 1 malaysia. some say better late than never, but what has happened since 1963????, 1 melayu??, 1 keling???or 1 cina????or is it wan malaya , whatever, i am out of the loop, so best of luck 1malaysia, will it take another 50 years????so what, no hurry, kalau niat baik, inshaallah allah akan kabulkan.

my dear wife

i have previously refrained from what i am about to write now, out of shame. in my earlier life, my love for her was unremitting,why,so much so that when she decided to leave me in 2001 i went gaga. now, after remarrying in 2005, i just couldn't believe that at one time my love for her was unequivocal and mind you , in conversations with my helper there is only 1 conclusion to the question of what sort of man would marry a stupid woman, very obviously only a stupid man. man, that hurts. i went into the marriage both times with both eyes open, theres nobody else to divert the consequences of the act of folly,except to yours truly. if ever there is a club for married dumbo of the century, i would be in the front of the pack. my advise to young people now is that if you ever have to marry, for god's sake do marry someone of equal intellectual substance, why even the koran tells you not to marry for show but marry for substance. unbelievably thats how stupid she is and will ever be , no amount of conferences, seminars, workshops or laptops unfortunately will ever change that. what to do??? best thing is to gripe in your own blog like i am doing now, its free and somehow quite satisfying. forget all thoughts of divorce or finding another one,it's just too much hard work, life's continuous and endlessly moving threadmill has no edit button, just stay on the treadmill and wait for the end or better still, turn unequivocally to god, after all heaven is the only salvation wherein all those nifty virgins are promised you.now, thats a wonderful thought to go to sleep with after an especially heavy day, good night

lyanne batik in milan,italy.

sometime before raya last year, a friend of mine who was living in milan,italy dropped by our place and purchased a piece of silk pareo and cotton men short sleeve batik shirt. upon his return to milan, his office colleagues was so particularly impressed with the design and quality of our batik, so much so that he became extremely keen to be our agent in italy. as summer is looming in europe now, my friend has ordered more pareos, yes our pareos are hitting the high streets of milan, alhamdulillah, i can smell a sensation here.inshaallah.

successful use of indigo dye

great news, after months of experimenting, we have now succeeded in using our own homegrown and produced indigo dye. amazingly, not only indigo blue colour was obtained, but we also managed to achieve the colours brown, chocolate, orange, green and purple on silk fabrics. our experimenting will be ongoing until we obtained that perfect indigo blue colour , so long prized. what a wonderful god given gift this amazing plant is, i now curse the industrial revolution for it's destructive role in wiping out most naturally based human activities.why did we ever had to use carcinogenic chemical dyes when natural dyes abound.lets all go back to nature. come here if you wish to try out use of indigo natural dye

mara running out of money

where have all the money gone???, what rangsangan???? pity all those students given hope of a mara scholarship or loan, what do they do now??? mara is just another dinosaur, don't wait for any comet to extinguish it, just close the bloody thing

jamil's visit

2 sundays ago, i had the pleasure of hosting jamil and wife, my cardiff buddy, who came here for a visit, it was an enjoyable moment, the pleasure of conversing with 2 very intelligent personalities , over coffee and light refreshments. surprisingly, the wife behaved herself and a great sunday morning was enjoyed by all.there was no need to adjourn anywhere else such as a supermarket, club or such, in this house, it was more than sufficient to sample the simple pleasures of life, especially friendship and a good cup if coffee.thank you jam, do come again, anytime.

my stroke recovery

my morning walk in the last 2 weeks involved me walking along the internal corridor towards the kitchen, whence i then had a morning coffee, before the first cigarette for the day. just like old times!!!. then i proceeded to send my daughter to school, driven of course by azhar, our ever loyal multipurpose assistant. this i enjoyed so much as it was always my target to be able to send my children to school. in a way this was already achieved, alhamdulillah, even though i wasn't the one driving. inshaallah, soon. there were moments during my morning walk whereby i felt like walking in a normalmanner, alhamdulillah, inshaallah, a few more months of this routine , would eventually train the affected muscles to function properly. so you can guess how i feel about the current 2 weeks school holidays. nevertheless, walking is now relatively easier, just train my mind that" i can walk anywhere and i will not fall. now i know the reason allah afflicted me, it's to train me to wake up in the morning for the suboh prayers, without fail, get me ready for the next life, syukur alhamdulillah, if i hadn't been afflicted, early morning thoughts would have been preoccupied by either the urgent need to get to a golf course or otherwise, how best to get a legup before the working day commences. syukuur alhamdulillah to allah, for rewarding me this opportunity to correct myself and prepare for the next life.

joke of the week???

banners for the award of doctorate in humanity to drmm are strung in most lamppost in cyberjaya. yeah, a quiet chuckle wouldn't harm you. it did me a lot of good, know what i mean???

sme bank, living off the peoples money

this post is my ranting against the sme bank,an institution that is supposedly there to help the small entrepreneurs. well, i can tell you all here that. all sme bank does is to live off the peoples money in their over comfortable offices. sme bank is a total failure, it joins the ranks of mara and many others as a washed out organisation that my view is that it would be better to close it down, save some of the rakyats money and let the officers learn of how it feels to be forced to sell nasi lemak using their cars bought with the bank's loans, i.e. the peoples money, we would be better off without them.i mean what sort of clapped out organisation would be proud of their corporate mission of taking 90 days to evaluate submissions. man, 90 days, it makes one wonder what do they do for 89 days????

mara - a giant??- slumbering and snoring!!!

my third son entered the prestigious tpm college in bukit jalil in mid 2008, supposedly on a mara scholarship subject to a formal scholarship application, which was duly made immediately.now, may 2009, there is still no signs of the scholarship despite numerous and overlapping documentations. so i asked him , what about his colleagues from out of k.l. who don't have access to money. his reply was that they borrow from friends, ya allah, what is happening ni MARA. TO PROCESS A SCHOLARSHIP INI NAK AMBIL BERAPA TAHUN??. WHAT ARE ALL THOSE EMploYEES IN THAT SILLY BLUE BUILDING NEAR PERTAMA COMPLEX DOING??. please for the sake of these students, wakeup!!!!. they need you to get your big butted ass off that comfortable chairs, take a lrt ride and do serve these people like what you are suppose to do.remember dinosaurs, they are gone!!!

a screwed land - leaders gone missing

i will just write 1 line here, malaysia is a really totally screwed land, leaders all gone awol, poor rakyat. my god, we are going down the tubes, fast

epf - mega dinosaur

a few weeks ago i went to epf to withdraw whatever monies i had left there, and surprise, surprise, i was told to fill a form even though i had done it 1 year before when i withdrew most of my epf savings. man, what are all those pc's for, aren't they suppose to hold all the records i had previously divulged???

mara

i must be grateful to mara for sponsoring my studies in the uk for my A-levels and degree, way back. But these days mara is such a lumbering giant, maybe it's time to shake it very, very hard , so that all the rotten apples inside will fall-out. my third son applied for his mara scholarship more than a tear ago,and it was only around 1 month ago that mara informed him that one of his document must be endorsed by an ADUN. WHY, OH WHY, WHY ONLY NOW, AND WHY ADUN????. SURELY IT WOULD ONLY TAKE A WEEK TO PROCESS THE APPLICATION AND THIS adun REQUIREMENT SHOULD HAVE BEEN very clearly stated during the time of application.
another fucked-up,clapped-up organisation in malaysia, LAND OF HYPE and lies.

got stung, depression!!!!

on friday evening, i got to sleep at 9p.m. as usual and then was woken up at around 11.30p.m. when something inexplicably stung my right fingers. my initial reflex action was to grasp whatever blighter it was for a few seconds and then it slipped out and my thinking at that time was that it was a grasshopper.several minutes later i got up when there surge an unbearable pain in my right forehand. it was nervely painful, seems all the nerves there were being racked to hell.then, my third son, came and offered to take me to the hospital, i duly followed him, arrived at the putrajaya hospital and visions of ER played in my mind. no such thing, the putrajaya hospital was as dead boring as most places in malayia at midnight, with an assortment of would be patients, quietly resting their butt on the plastic shairs, no ambulances wailing, no doctor/ nurses rushing about,there was no hathaway, greene, kerry, benton or carter. it was almost like a morque.i was registered-in, which blessedly was quick as my records were already there from almost 4 years there when i had my stroke. a male nurse , no, no attractive female nurses around, then proceeded to inject my right upper limb and my right rump with what i suspect was a painkiller.why my butt, the pain was in the fingers???then joined all the moronic would-be patients on their plastic chairs, waiting for my turn to be called-in into the surgery room.the wait lasted an agonisingly 2 hours wherein i then told my son that we better go home. what a scandalous scenario, can you believe that after all the billions poured into the country's healthcare and here we have a situation where in malaysia's capital,of putrajaya, one had to wait for at least 2 hours to be attended to by a doctor, this our capital city???. there goes 1 myth, on reaching home i felt that i wanted to be a mythbuster, busting the myth and all the crap about putrajaya/cyberjaya. most depressingly, i felt for my children and their future and all those would be patients all over the country, if, after more than 5o years of independence, one had to wait for more than 2 hours to receive medical attention, what hope is there for the next 50???. maybe the succession of health ministers, that regularly changed did not help matters. In this depressive mood, my son drove us home where then i called my mother to convey to her the news, where i then broke down, my body was shivering uncontrollably . why????. being stung by something isn't the worst news in the world, is it??? no, it isn't, it must be the thought that what a clapped out country malaysia is, and unfortunately, one in which my children have no choice but to grow in.as the day progressed, my depression escalated when the thoughts of more fucked-up crap and the sorry state of the nation called malaysia, sank-in. let me elucidate more later or tomorrow, time permitting. be lucky that you are not in malaysia, if you are'nt!!!

pre-stroke- my life as a contractor

1999 was the seminal year. we manage to secure 2 humungous contracts totalling rm500 million. it seemed unreal at the time that a small company like mine reached such heights. instead of exhiliration, fear sets in. how on earth were we to execute these contracts with the limited capital i had at that time. so the stage wasready for my biggest mistake in life when i agreed to bring in that mamak extortionist, iqbal feiruz cunt as a shareholder, him being my wife's cousin mind you.

my dear wife

yesterday, i must have reached the limit of my patience so much so that my frustration and anger at the rejection of my application for funding from the sme bank boiled over into anger at my other half. various nasty thoughts crossed my mind. i now understand how some people can reach the limit and then breached the dividing wall and proceeded to exterminate their partners. the most important thing in any relationship must surely be the ability to maintain a running dialogue, that way both parties would have a sense that they are on the same train albeit heading in one direction. when dialogue becomes elusive, that feeling of togetherness vaporises, conflict sets-in actuated by the isolation of 1 party resulting in mayhem, separation, divorce unnecessary court action, i.e. symptoms of all the world's problems, obama is right, when he says that dialogue is the key to resolution of conflicts.why is it that some parties shy away from dialogue???, is it lack of confidence, fear or stupidity???

banking - malays

banking is the essence of commerce and therein lies the answer why malays are a failure in business, sans the numerous downfall of bank bumiputra whilst chinese led banks, hongleong, ocbc and most particularly public bank in malaysia continue to grow and grow. my frustation stems from my failure to date to secure a bank loan for lyanne marketing, this inspite of having applied more than 3 months ago. doesn't these malay bankers realised that when we apply to a bank for a loan, it's because we need it!!!!, if we have the money we would not go to a bank in the first place. and when we need the money, the sooner we have it the earlier we can put it to good use,like making more money. why burden us with paperworks and unnecessary waiting. a week should be sufficient for any banker to evaluate the bankability of a client, observe, learn, invesigate, yes, but do all that in a week , not months/ years. i am particularly irked because we have more than adequate collateral(rm5.3 million), to cover the loan we are requesting(rm2 million). i feel sorry for all those small rural malay entrepreneurs who voted in the government based on high hopes of the government rhetoric in helping them and then get muddledup in the various beauracratic clap. the alternative, i feel is for the government to engage competent proffessionals to help these small entrepreneurs, fees to be paid by the entrepreneurs only when their particular project takes off and not upfront as demanded by numerous carpetbeggars now,i.e. a merchant banker solely for the small guys.

stroke recovery -what a difference a day makes

what a difference a day makes!!, was that sang by gloria gaynor?, can't remember. anyway, yesterday i was buoyant salivating at the prospect of recovery and a wonderful future. today,i am currently brooding after a very bad morning, not that anything untowards that has happened, but that after my regular walking exercise and breakfast, till now, nothing else has happened, there wasn't anymore sporadic spasm in my affected leg, no movement of my fingers, no visit by my erstwhile colleague, adnan, no prospective clients dropping by.of course, i am not one to expect sunshine everyday, i know there are good days and bad days, yet today is neither one, it's just a nothing day, so far. Is boredom getting to me???? ya allah, jayakan usahaku untuk mendapat pinjaman dari sme bank.nothing much i can do now, but just to wait, wait,wait. patience sure is Tough. hopefully tom sharpe and his Wilt saga after lunch will brighten my day., INSHAALLAH

my wish - recreating my european trip.

there was a time when i was studying in the uk when i made 2 forays into europe during the christmas break, 2 trips whose memories i deeply cherish till today and i would promptly produce a photo of me by the little mermaid in copenhagen to silence any and all doubters that i had really undergone that journey whilst in my youth. what began as an innocent aside conversation between myself and my eldest son is now moving into second gear. yes, we are all now planning to recreate the trip that i made in my youth. The soon to be memorable occasion of my eldest son graduating from his medical school,october 2010, shall be the target date for the commencement of our first family trip overseas, since the last one in year2,000 to the australian gold coast. the preliminary plan is umrah, england, wales, france, belgium(waterloo), holland, norway, germany, italy,spain, england and then to scotland where i hope that by that time the stem cell treatment for stroke at the glasgow's Southern general hospital would have already passed it's human trial. the trip should culmuinate in japan, the land currently worshipped by my Daisy Duck daughter,malaysia's premier exponent of the japanese cartoon art of naru hikari(am i making sense here????) my, what a fantastic future to look forward to.allahuakbar.

my stroke recovery

mercifully, syukur alhamdilillah, my walking improved a notch today, walking from my room to the cafe was a breeze this morning except for the slight ledge whereby i had to normally sit down first before sauntering on to the second last leg of the journey to the cafe. this sauntering was unnecessary yesterday as with a slight hop i was then on to the next piece of level ground. not today, but inshaallah, it would be surmountale daily soon as my walking pogresses. as i told my eldest today, this stroke recovery journey is not about jins/ demons or any of the numerous superstitions so dearly beloved of the malays. the key is an irrevocable and ubswerving faith in allah, a clear and peaceful mind and ultimately working all those leg muscles repetitively until the newly arrived replacement brain cells learn and remember what it had to do in terms of signalling to the muscles. what a week!!!, one that began ominously with thoughts of death and now almost ending triumphantly with clear signs of rehabilitation in progress, allahuakbar!!!. there is still some way to go before i would be able to attain a certain kind of comfortable walking motion, neverheless, that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is beaming brighterthan ever. i would,of course, be walking with a limp, but nevertheless if the walkng motion allows me to safely navigate through the various pathways before reaching my destination, that would already be something for me to cherish, syukur alhamdulillah, inshaallah, allahuakbar.

the future???

what the f is going on with regards to our politicians, fighting here, there, eveywhere. most analysts/bloggers have pinned it down to just 1 issue,i.e. money. thats the sad predicament comfronting all malaysians, politicians we put into power are more adept and concerned in lining up their pockets than in the art of governing / tasking care of us. the curse of the malays, i.e. politicians, royalty, religious leaders, abandoning them, is ever present and more prominent today, more than 50 years after the so-called merdeka. perhaps it's significant to remember god's words here, turn to him only and nothing else. yes, that's what i will do.

pulau meranti- developments

nothing much to write in this area. my forays to the warongs have reduced, hardly anybody to genuinely converse with here,unlike the lake club. that is what i miss the most- some interesting discussions / conversations, that is the attraction of the batik bar , unfortunately tarnished by all the boozing.
the new pkr ketua kampung is a quiet gntle kind soul, albeit a tad too slow. so with a ravenously greedy and slow ketua kampung , what hope is there here. i dare say, hope is always there ,and can picture this kampung looking like balakong in ten years time. not my kind of scene and,am unlikely to be around by then

the future - only god knows

now that we have a new prime minister close on the heels of the americans having their new president, perhaps for me, it's a great time to ponder on the future, not withstanding the current grim world economic scenario.
my view is that trade would never bottomed out to a level where it completely disintegrate. that has never happened before and will never in the future.the one who is strong and prepared will be the survivors and conveniently placed to take advantage of the glorious spoils that will rise and present itself after every calamity. can someone perhaps give me an example of those who benefitted from the great depression, i am sure there were many, just that my brain is a bit exhausted now.
lets take the batik business as our subject. we all know the impact on batik brought on by our last leader, firstly, datin endon's enduring interest in batik revived this flagging industry to a certain extent, primarily i believe that the millions splashed on by the government in it's various promotion activities raised the awareness of batik among the general population to a higher notch. then paklah's edict to government servants to wear batik's every thursday brought on a rush of batik apparels among civil servants, all 1.5 million of them. herein lies the double edged sword that i believe will ultimately bury to death batik enterprises driven by artists- biased entrepreneurs. in the short term, the governments edict on wearing batik would seem like a godsend to them, there is undoubtedly already a minor explosion in batik entrepreneurship, established to ride on the back of this government-inspired wave.just google batik and you will encounter numerous so-called batik producers, most of which are nothing more than a tiny little outlet in nowhere. for those alert and discerning enough, their antenna would have already perked at the gathering storm that is already savaging certain sectors of the batik business, namely the increasing threat of digital textile printing technology that promises lower cost of mass batik production. as consumers and ultimately government servants becomes ever more cost-conscious in the wake of economc recession, printed batik will become a most appealing alternative due to it's lower cost and digital printing technology is coming up to a level where it rivals existing batik methodologies and exceed it in some instance, particularly in the area of mass production.thus, in my view, the economic recession will hasten the "paradigmshift" in the batik industry. it will divert batik production away from the small artist biased enterprises to bigger cash-resourced organisations. digital textile printing technology will ultimately dominate, squeezing to a corner the quaint and arty-farty-tarty art of tjanting beloved by the arty-farty crowd.
back to the future, there would still be a place for the traditional batik entrepreneurs but it's an ever diminishing place, squeezed out by digital printing and the consumers tightening purse. the challenge would be to marry both activities so that one complements the other and this is where i intend to position lyanne batik. it is a future that i so look forward to, it's a challenge that i am quietly confident that i , inshaallah, can take on for the remaining years of my life. back to the government, should the government and especially, the returning arts minister be genuine in their aspiration to develop the local batik industry I urge them to study this matter in greater detail, but don't take too long as the small batik entrepreneurs doesnt have deep reserves and splurging out on overseas trips is definitely not the answer my preliminary thoughts are:-

1. don't view it as a narrow batik business - view it as a textile business.
2. look at alternative options to be cost competitive. generating an endless supply of ikn graduates is definitely not the answer. where are they going to work if there is no batik industry??????
3. enhance awareness and education of batik among the young- they are the future buyers.have batik classes as a recognised and government funded extra curriculum activity, have it at certified and authorised batik entrepreneurs premises. this will mean much needed income to the small guys/makciks
4. establish clear and achievable standardisation/ procedures/ specifications.
5. develop natural enhancements such as natural dyes.
6. spread the compulsory use of batik to others, say schools / kindergartens.

conclusion
the future is something took forward to and not feared
unfortunately the new first couple has been accused and has a reputation of money grabbing by certain quarters. this is not goood for batik entrepreneurs as there is not much to give awayunlike the construction business say. so, i dare say that unless the new regime themselves indulge in the batik business, the future should stillbe reasonably ok for those in the batik business who are diligent/ forward looking andduisplay less of the arty-farty-tarty attitude.

pre-stroke- my working life(6), the defining episode

leo, lorraine esme osman, was my first brush with the rich and famous. he gave me my first big break, ie. a comfortable position and most importantly, the attendant status symbol that follows a position of high status, a luxury company car, expense account and social club membership( the raintree club in kl). upon reflection now, almost 3o years later, i believe i have a right to curse this man. what he did was used me as a pawn in his game of bleeding the NEP to his advantage. this was what the NEP bred and where it went wrong, a bunch of malays in privileged positions who bled the country dried for their personal wealth, instead of creating economic activity for the malays. a sad tragedy later repeated by halim saad and now by numerous others among the so-called captains of industry. i can only see it clearly now on hindsight, at that particular moment, the luxury saab turbo that he conferred , blinded me from all thoughts of caution, my thoughts were, hey here is the new kid on the block, watch out world.alas, i can now pinpoint this episode as one that defines my adult life thereafter, a life of the eternal pursuit of money ,debauchery akin to one led by the roman caesars as brilliantly elucidated by gibbons in THE RISE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE.how i wish i had read this momentous historical anthology early on .just as churchill did at HARROW.my outlook of life would have certainly been different. come to think of it, i would like my legacy to my children be the imprimatur that, READ AS MUCH HISTORICAL ANTHOLOGIES AS YOU CAN LAY YOUR HANDS ON, INCLUDING THE ETERNAL KORAN, THESE ARE EXPERIENCES AND AFTERTHOUGHTS OF PEOPLE AND THE ALMIGHTY WHO HAS not only set the principles of living but has blazed through it ever since man was created.it's like procedures and specifications in the engineering world. they are guides in the art of living!!!!!!

stroke / death

yesterday was a defining day for me. the day started innocuously enough, i did my regular suboh prayers and reading the yassin and then just as i was about to set out for my morning walk, my bowels signalled it's intention to discharge, which to me was very encouraging as monday is my designated bowel discharge day and the discharge then proceeded smoothly . off i lumbered for the walk to the cafe and then factory, which again proceeded smoothly. a few minutes after sitting at the cafe, i had this apprehensive attack that perhaps this is as far as my recovery will go and that death should be contemplated and preparation for it should be in place. considering that there are still numerous worldly matters that are either not resolved or in place, my apprehension esclates. calling my mother normally would induce a calming effect as her unreserved love and soothing words are a potent soothener to me. it did but not long thereafter the apprehension returned and refused to go all day until i received a wonderful piece of good news from my very dearest youngest sister late in the afternoon.
Ever since the fasting month last year, i have always been grateful to allah that he has not taken me away during the stroke onset, like many others. my analysis was that the stroke was akin to a severe jolt to remind me to abandon my wayward ways and that my survival of the calamity was like giving me another chance to redeem my standing and that good things are in store should i recant. this thought has kept me going in the last 7 months. however, yesterday, the apprehension was quite intense, most intense in the last 7 months.normally, one wish that one's wife would be the source of comfort,regrettably for me, the relationship with my wife has reached an all-time low , that positive interreaction is now all too elusive,my mother, youngest sister and my second son now having substituted my wife as the source of comfort. my main desire now is that before leaving this world I would love to have in place all the requisite things that a father ought to have achieved, just so as to emulate what my late father achieved, namely that all the children are safely entrenched in decent modes of sustaining their worldly needs and safely /securely attain a comfort zone for the rest of their life, in short having gotten married and a home and thus set in place their palace on planet earth. this remains an outstanding feature in my case,of which i calculated yesterday that it would be another 9 years before it willall materialise. in that sense, i am not yet ready for death. we are all of course continually reminded that death is out of our hands, that is god's perogative, having brought us into this world, it's gods perogative to determine when we will depart. we are in no position to hasten or delay it. posting this this morning, i am suddenly aware that i am still alive, alhamdulillah. by evening yesterday i was reasonably calm, this i believe brought on by the very great news from my youngest sister with regards to my last property on this planet and then culminating in that magnificient great big hug from my youngest, the chestnut, and his soothing words, baba, i don't want you to go anytime soon. what a day!!!!

batik classes

yesterday was an eventful day as for the second time we hosted approximately 6o lim kok wing university students who were here to learn the art of batikmaking.i have always admired this bunny toothed lim guy who had built up his university up to international standards inspite of having been born into the wrong race, i.e. political and financial patronage-wise. it's amazing how he built the lim kok wing brand all throughout the intense implementation period of our NEP. kudos to you mr lim. in contrast , i wonder how far will unikl , the mara university, go, it being flushed with the peoples money and practically no limit to spending, well, lets judge it ten years from now, ie in 2020 say , not fair to judge now as its relatively new.
the point of this posting is not about mr lim or unikl, its about the batik classes that we are offering. my wife seems to have organised it to a certain competent level, but sitting there and observing all the shenanigans, i can't help but feel that there is still something missing. upon reflection this morning, i have pinned it to the carnival atmosphere factor, that seems to be missing. maybe some music and jovial promoters can bring on that carnival atmosphere, worth trying it next time, don't you think???

coming to april

april always remind me of the dallas cheerleaders, april is here, time has passed very quickly, i have been busy in my efforts to walk, there has been progress, the shakes are gone, maybe the leg muscles are stronger, alhamdulillah, it's just the automaticity, that's gone, will it ever come back???pavlov would be my role model, repetition, repetition, train the muscles, well walking attempt continuously.that is already syukur alhamdulillah. i have also kept myself busy in trying to raise financing for the batik business. after having visited several banks, i now understand why malays are a failure in banking, the very idea of lending money is to the malays akin to saya tolong anda, jadi anda kena menyembah and kiss my ass. the chinese, no, they are in banking for the art of business, i lend you money, i make money, the more i lend you, the more i make, you are my client, go ahead, work your ass off and then pay me. guarantor??, what for???. come on baby borrow more, don't care whether you are bumi or not, just make money and pay me...

my stroke recovery

apologies for my extended abscence, the thing is i have been preoccupied with my walking and have today reaped the reward, yes this morning i managed to circumvent the house from the front gate to the kitchen, all independently, alhamdulillah, allahuakbar. this was my target for 31st. dec 2008, but nevertheless , better late than never. i can feel the progress in my affected leg. inshaallah , within several months of this continued walking exercise, i should be able to walkabout at a reasonable clip, inshaallah

my stroke recovery

my daily exercise is going swimmingly alhamdulillah, there hasn't been any major improvements, every improvement seems to be microscopic. i guess collectively it will all add up to something one day, insha Allah,i need to persevere and be patient.my daily routine is now almost set in concrete. am really putting most of my hopes on a business proposal to takeover the batik business, if successful, that should keep me occupied and the target is of course to keep me occupied as before but to execute things following islamic tenets and discard off the old modus operandi.

old farts running glc's

i have been reading with interest the activities of sime darby of late, particularly as the ceo is from my alumni. it is very clear from reading the various plans that sime is in desperate need for growth as most of it's traditional activities have either reached a plateau or in dire decline. it's attempt to takeover ijn was definitely a strategic mistake. it would have been better for sime to expand and enhance sjmc ,it definitely has the financial resources and expertise can be hired. the labu airport is another fiasco. if anything, the management rightly stand to be accused of being sterile, not innovative at all. it's about time the management put on their innovative cap and bring sime into the 21st. century. but in all these years since the takeover by pnb, sime is akin to a once pretty lady very much in decline and what most seem to have missed is that the directors are a bunch of old farts who have refused to be put to pasture. their only clain of legitimacy is either being retired civil servants or politicians. this is where the change is most required. what sime needs are innovative and energetic directors who have cut their teeth in the private sector to guide sime into innovative,exciting and sexy new era, maybe someone similar to tan sri hassan merican. then again, is there anyone else out there like tan sri hassan. put out all these old farts to pasture, their time is up.these old farts seems to have no business ideas other than pirating what is already in place and hijacking them from the rakyat, man that's easy, any ahmad, muthu or ah chong can do that.

malaysian rituals

in the last few days i ran smack against 2 malaysian rituals involving schools and children which seems to me preposterous and makes me ask whether these things only happen here. the first one was a prize-giving function for those children who did well in their upsr. i went to the one held for the sepang district, my youngest son, the chestnut, having attended school in cyberjaya , which of course is within the sepang district.travelling there, my dear wife was panicking as mentally to her we were late, the ceremony supposedly starting at 2 p.m. I was surprised at her behaviour, not having seen that side of her before.i was of course, calm as usual, safely ensconced in the knowledge that the dignitary/minister will typically be late as per the norm of all politicians, in malaysia anyway.sure enough, when we reached the hall, the proceedings were yet to start, and so we quietly slipped out and adjourned to the nearest kfc. why do they bother with these ceremonies if it means not starting on time and making the poor children sweat. remind me again, to please not to attend any occasions where politicians are to be the vip. assholes!!!!.

today, being the first day of school in the new year, after going through the motions and having had my breakfast, i withdrew to my room , so as in order to make a few calls to setup appointments for the week. what the hell, nobody seems to be at work. i guessed that all these so-called parents/ especially mothers are somehow held-up at various schools in the klang valley, gnashing their teeth whilst waiting to register their child!!!. has our so called e-government ever calculated how much all these downtime are costing the country. why can't all these registration be done online, so that the first day of school just involves ushering the kid into the car or onto the bus.whats the big deal???, they are going to be in the school for the rest of the year for, goodness sake.!!!!