puasa is here!!!!!

i cannot recall missing or absconding the puasa whilst in the royal military college in sg besi, so the rot must have begun from the time i commenced my "A"levels in grimsby college of technology. not surprisingly, away from parental control and authority supervision, my weakness in mind allowed the reason for not fasting to steadily fester in my inner thoughts. so for years fasting period was nothing more than an irritant that was superfically observed and on a lucky day brings as it's reward, heaps of oily food.the situation deteroriates and spiralled downwards to such an extent where there were occasions when i would be at royal lake club bar serenading with my so-called friends even during the fasting month. mashaallah!!!!! now, into my fourth day of fasting, i am at last aware and understand all it's benefits, it's not easy, my craving for drinks and cigarette have to be continually slapped down, but for the moment i am winning, always fortified by the thoughts that my seventy year over old mother is herself at this moment in mecca,supplicating for my recovery among many others. if she is making all that sacrifices, what little i can do, pales in comparison