abandoned - again

my wife has abandoned me yet again, the second time this has happened, the first time in 2001 when she demanded a divorce and i was stupid enough to accede. this time around , she wants to divorce again, but i have refused as this time around I fear allahs wrath as the koran has specifically said that divorce is one of the things that allah hate. so we are living separately, living alone is so lonely and i am merciful for the occasional visits by my children , although it is not often enough. loneliness is the curse on me , it is not the sex. what do i do???? what choice do i have????.no easy choices, so just focus on my haj and wait for death