pre-stroke my growing-up years - TAhlil/kenduri doa dselamat

the last 2 nughts i have been preoccupied with the kenduri doa selamat for my late mother-in-law as was customarily required among the malay and muslim community. attending these rituals bring back a whole lot of memories of my youth specifically relating to kenduri doa selamat. why is it so boring???. this particular ritual was probably what led me to disasociate myself from islamic rituals later in my life, i.e between the time of leaving home and the occasion of my stroke. why can't the whole process be procedurally revamped to make it more meaningful and alive, why has it to be sombre and boringly dead. perhaps one of the thing that can be done is that the doa after the yassin be presented in bm then we can understand and follow the meaning of our supplications. why can't we have rituals that are upbeat like the negroes in new orleans, i am sure we all want the best for the deceased and would be willing to sacrifice time and effort but by being boring it just drives you off, there must be a more interesting and meaningful way, ya allah