5 years after

it has been 5 years today since i was afflicted. 5 years of pain, anguish and many lessons learnt . not the least being that being disable and practically penniless is not something that anyone should aspire to be. there has been many who told me that mesti ada hikmah. well, the only one that i can think of at the moment is that just maybe i am a candidate for heaven, inshaallah. they say that pain washes away the sin, a lot of my sin must have got washed away. heaven being the hikmah would be a fantastic prize, mmmmmmm all those virgins( who wants an over 5o wife). this thoughts keep me going post 5 years and the thought that allah , in his wisdom, put me through a 5 year learning course at no charge.(5 years should have got me another degree!!!!). looking back, i don't want my old life, i can life this life comfortably, more improvement on my mobility would help matters.what else is there???. only strengthen and enhance my chances of going to heaven and wait for death i suppose.