mara

i must be grateful to mara for sponsoring my studies in the uk for my A-levels and degree, way back. But these days mara is such a lumbering giant, maybe it's time to shake it very, very hard , so that all the rotten apples inside will fall-out. my third son applied for his mara scholarship more than a tear ago,and it was only around 1 month ago that mara informed him that one of his document must be endorsed by an ADUN. WHY, OH WHY, WHY ONLY NOW, AND WHY ADUN????. SURELY IT WOULD ONLY TAKE A WEEK TO PROCESS THE APPLICATION AND THIS adun REQUIREMENT SHOULD HAVE BEEN very clearly stated during the time of application.
another fucked-up,clapped-up organisation in malaysia, LAND OF HYPE and lies.

got stung, depression!!!!

on friday evening, i got to sleep at 9p.m. as usual and then was woken up at around 11.30p.m. when something inexplicably stung my right fingers. my initial reflex action was to grasp whatever blighter it was for a few seconds and then it slipped out and my thinking at that time was that it was a grasshopper.several minutes later i got up when there surge an unbearable pain in my right forehand. it was nervely painful, seems all the nerves there were being racked to hell.then, my third son, came and offered to take me to the hospital, i duly followed him, arrived at the putrajaya hospital and visions of ER played in my mind. no such thing, the putrajaya hospital was as dead boring as most places in malayia at midnight, with an assortment of would be patients, quietly resting their butt on the plastic shairs, no ambulances wailing, no doctor/ nurses rushing about,there was no hathaway, greene, kerry, benton or carter. it was almost like a morque.i was registered-in, which blessedly was quick as my records were already there from almost 4 years there when i had my stroke. a male nurse , no, no attractive female nurses around, then proceeded to inject my right upper limb and my right rump with what i suspect was a painkiller.why my butt, the pain was in the fingers???then joined all the moronic would-be patients on their plastic chairs, waiting for my turn to be called-in into the surgery room.the wait lasted an agonisingly 2 hours wherein i then told my son that we better go home. what a scandalous scenario, can you believe that after all the billions poured into the country's healthcare and here we have a situation where in malaysia's capital,of putrajaya, one had to wait for at least 2 hours to be attended to by a doctor, this our capital city???. there goes 1 myth, on reaching home i felt that i wanted to be a mythbuster, busting the myth and all the crap about putrajaya/cyberjaya. most depressingly, i felt for my children and their future and all those would be patients all over the country, if, after more than 5o years of independence, one had to wait for more than 2 hours to receive medical attention, what hope is there for the next 50???. maybe the succession of health ministers, that regularly changed did not help matters. In this depressive mood, my son drove us home where then i called my mother to convey to her the news, where i then broke down, my body was shivering uncontrollably . why????. being stung by something isn't the worst news in the world, is it??? no, it isn't, it must be the thought that what a clapped out country malaysia is, and unfortunately, one in which my children have no choice but to grow in.as the day progressed, my depression escalated when the thoughts of more fucked-up crap and the sorry state of the nation called malaysia, sank-in. let me elucidate more later or tomorrow, time permitting. be lucky that you are not in malaysia, if you are'nt!!!

pre-stroke- my life as a contractor

1999 was the seminal year. we manage to secure 2 humungous contracts totalling rm500 million. it seemed unreal at the time that a small company like mine reached such heights. instead of exhiliration, fear sets in. how on earth were we to execute these contracts with the limited capital i had at that time. so the stage wasready for my biggest mistake in life when i agreed to bring in that mamak extortionist, iqbal feiruz cunt as a shareholder, him being my wife's cousin mind you.

my dear wife

yesterday, i must have reached the limit of my patience so much so that my frustration and anger at the rejection of my application for funding from the sme bank boiled over into anger at my other half. various nasty thoughts crossed my mind. i now understand how some people can reach the limit and then breached the dividing wall and proceeded to exterminate their partners. the most important thing in any relationship must surely be the ability to maintain a running dialogue, that way both parties would have a sense that they are on the same train albeit heading in one direction. when dialogue becomes elusive, that feeling of togetherness vaporises, conflict sets-in actuated by the isolation of 1 party resulting in mayhem, separation, divorce unnecessary court action, i.e. symptoms of all the world's problems, obama is right, when he says that dialogue is the key to resolution of conflicts.why is it that some parties shy away from dialogue???, is it lack of confidence, fear or stupidity???

banking - malays

banking is the essence of commerce and therein lies the answer why malays are a failure in business, sans the numerous downfall of bank bumiputra whilst chinese led banks, hongleong, ocbc and most particularly public bank in malaysia continue to grow and grow. my frustation stems from my failure to date to secure a bank loan for lyanne marketing, this inspite of having applied more than 3 months ago. doesn't these malay bankers realised that when we apply to a bank for a loan, it's because we need it!!!!, if we have the money we would not go to a bank in the first place. and when we need the money, the sooner we have it the earlier we can put it to good use,like making more money. why burden us with paperworks and unnecessary waiting. a week should be sufficient for any banker to evaluate the bankability of a client, observe, learn, invesigate, yes, but do all that in a week , not months/ years. i am particularly irked because we have more than adequate collateral(rm5.3 million), to cover the loan we are requesting(rm2 million). i feel sorry for all those small rural malay entrepreneurs who voted in the government based on high hopes of the government rhetoric in helping them and then get muddledup in the various beauracratic clap. the alternative, i feel is for the government to engage competent proffessionals to help these small entrepreneurs, fees to be paid by the entrepreneurs only when their particular project takes off and not upfront as demanded by numerous carpetbeggars now,i.e. a merchant banker solely for the small guys.

stroke recovery -what a difference a day makes

what a difference a day makes!!, was that sang by gloria gaynor?, can't remember. anyway, yesterday i was buoyant salivating at the prospect of recovery and a wonderful future. today,i am currently brooding after a very bad morning, not that anything untowards that has happened, but that after my regular walking exercise and breakfast, till now, nothing else has happened, there wasn't anymore sporadic spasm in my affected leg, no movement of my fingers, no visit by my erstwhile colleague, adnan, no prospective clients dropping by.of course, i am not one to expect sunshine everyday, i know there are good days and bad days, yet today is neither one, it's just a nothing day, so far. Is boredom getting to me???? ya allah, jayakan usahaku untuk mendapat pinjaman dari sme bank.nothing much i can do now, but just to wait, wait,wait. patience sure is Tough. hopefully tom sharpe and his Wilt saga after lunch will brighten my day., INSHAALLAH

my wish - recreating my european trip.

there was a time when i was studying in the uk when i made 2 forays into europe during the christmas break, 2 trips whose memories i deeply cherish till today and i would promptly produce a photo of me by the little mermaid in copenhagen to silence any and all doubters that i had really undergone that journey whilst in my youth. what began as an innocent aside conversation between myself and my eldest son is now moving into second gear. yes, we are all now planning to recreate the trip that i made in my youth. The soon to be memorable occasion of my eldest son graduating from his medical school,october 2010, shall be the target date for the commencement of our first family trip overseas, since the last one in year2,000 to the australian gold coast. the preliminary plan is umrah, england, wales, france, belgium(waterloo), holland, norway, germany, italy,spain, england and then to scotland where i hope that by that time the stem cell treatment for stroke at the glasgow's Southern general hospital would have already passed it's human trial. the trip should culmuinate in japan, the land currently worshipped by my Daisy Duck daughter,malaysia's premier exponent of the japanese cartoon art of naru hikari(am i making sense here????) my, what a fantastic future to look forward to.allahuakbar.

my stroke recovery

mercifully, syukur alhamdilillah, my walking improved a notch today, walking from my room to the cafe was a breeze this morning except for the slight ledge whereby i had to normally sit down first before sauntering on to the second last leg of the journey to the cafe. this sauntering was unnecessary yesterday as with a slight hop i was then on to the next piece of level ground. not today, but inshaallah, it would be surmountale daily soon as my walking pogresses. as i told my eldest today, this stroke recovery journey is not about jins/ demons or any of the numerous superstitions so dearly beloved of the malays. the key is an irrevocable and ubswerving faith in allah, a clear and peaceful mind and ultimately working all those leg muscles repetitively until the newly arrived replacement brain cells learn and remember what it had to do in terms of signalling to the muscles. what a week!!!, one that began ominously with thoughts of death and now almost ending triumphantly with clear signs of rehabilitation in progress, allahuakbar!!!. there is still some way to go before i would be able to attain a certain kind of comfortable walking motion, neverheless, that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is beaming brighterthan ever. i would,of course, be walking with a limp, but nevertheless if the walkng motion allows me to safely navigate through the various pathways before reaching my destination, that would already be something for me to cherish, syukur alhamdulillah, inshaallah, allahuakbar.

the future???

what the f is going on with regards to our politicians, fighting here, there, eveywhere. most analysts/bloggers have pinned it down to just 1 issue,i.e. money. thats the sad predicament comfronting all malaysians, politicians we put into power are more adept and concerned in lining up their pockets than in the art of governing / tasking care of us. the curse of the malays, i.e. politicians, royalty, religious leaders, abandoning them, is ever present and more prominent today, more than 50 years after the so-called merdeka. perhaps it's significant to remember god's words here, turn to him only and nothing else. yes, that's what i will do.

pulau meranti- developments

nothing much to write in this area. my forays to the warongs have reduced, hardly anybody to genuinely converse with here,unlike the lake club. that is what i miss the most- some interesting discussions / conversations, that is the attraction of the batik bar , unfortunately tarnished by all the boozing.
the new pkr ketua kampung is a quiet gntle kind soul, albeit a tad too slow. so with a ravenously greedy and slow ketua kampung , what hope is there here. i dare say, hope is always there ,and can picture this kampung looking like balakong in ten years time. not my kind of scene and,am unlikely to be around by then

the future - only god knows

now that we have a new prime minister close on the heels of the americans having their new president, perhaps for me, it's a great time to ponder on the future, not withstanding the current grim world economic scenario.
my view is that trade would never bottomed out to a level where it completely disintegrate. that has never happened before and will never in the future.the one who is strong and prepared will be the survivors and conveniently placed to take advantage of the glorious spoils that will rise and present itself after every calamity. can someone perhaps give me an example of those who benefitted from the great depression, i am sure there were many, just that my brain is a bit exhausted now.
lets take the batik business as our subject. we all know the impact on batik brought on by our last leader, firstly, datin endon's enduring interest in batik revived this flagging industry to a certain extent, primarily i believe that the millions splashed on by the government in it's various promotion activities raised the awareness of batik among the general population to a higher notch. then paklah's edict to government servants to wear batik's every thursday brought on a rush of batik apparels among civil servants, all 1.5 million of them. herein lies the double edged sword that i believe will ultimately bury to death batik enterprises driven by artists- biased entrepreneurs. in the short term, the governments edict on wearing batik would seem like a godsend to them, there is undoubtedly already a minor explosion in batik entrepreneurship, established to ride on the back of this government-inspired wave.just google batik and you will encounter numerous so-called batik producers, most of which are nothing more than a tiny little outlet in nowhere. for those alert and discerning enough, their antenna would have already perked at the gathering storm that is already savaging certain sectors of the batik business, namely the increasing threat of digital textile printing technology that promises lower cost of mass batik production. as consumers and ultimately government servants becomes ever more cost-conscious in the wake of economc recession, printed batik will become a most appealing alternative due to it's lower cost and digital printing technology is coming up to a level where it rivals existing batik methodologies and exceed it in some instance, particularly in the area of mass production.thus, in my view, the economic recession will hasten the "paradigmshift" in the batik industry. it will divert batik production away from the small artist biased enterprises to bigger cash-resourced organisations. digital textile printing technology will ultimately dominate, squeezing to a corner the quaint and arty-farty-tarty art of tjanting beloved by the arty-farty crowd.
back to the future, there would still be a place for the traditional batik entrepreneurs but it's an ever diminishing place, squeezed out by digital printing and the consumers tightening purse. the challenge would be to marry both activities so that one complements the other and this is where i intend to position lyanne batik. it is a future that i so look forward to, it's a challenge that i am quietly confident that i , inshaallah, can take on for the remaining years of my life. back to the government, should the government and especially, the returning arts minister be genuine in their aspiration to develop the local batik industry I urge them to study this matter in greater detail, but don't take too long as the small batik entrepreneurs doesnt have deep reserves and splurging out on overseas trips is definitely not the answer my preliminary thoughts are:-

1. don't view it as a narrow batik business - view it as a textile business.
2. look at alternative options to be cost competitive. generating an endless supply of ikn graduates is definitely not the answer. where are they going to work if there is no batik industry??????
3. enhance awareness and education of batik among the young- they are the future buyers.have batik classes as a recognised and government funded extra curriculum activity, have it at certified and authorised batik entrepreneurs premises. this will mean much needed income to the small guys/makciks
4. establish clear and achievable standardisation/ procedures/ specifications.
5. develop natural enhancements such as natural dyes.
6. spread the compulsory use of batik to others, say schools / kindergartens.

conclusion
the future is something took forward to and not feared
unfortunately the new first couple has been accused and has a reputation of money grabbing by certain quarters. this is not goood for batik entrepreneurs as there is not much to give awayunlike the construction business say. so, i dare say that unless the new regime themselves indulge in the batik business, the future should stillbe reasonably ok for those in the batik business who are diligent/ forward looking andduisplay less of the arty-farty-tarty attitude.

pre-stroke- my working life(6), the defining episode

leo, lorraine esme osman, was my first brush with the rich and famous. he gave me my first big break, ie. a comfortable position and most importantly, the attendant status symbol that follows a position of high status, a luxury company car, expense account and social club membership( the raintree club in kl). upon reflection now, almost 3o years later, i believe i have a right to curse this man. what he did was used me as a pawn in his game of bleeding the NEP to his advantage. this was what the NEP bred and where it went wrong, a bunch of malays in privileged positions who bled the country dried for their personal wealth, instead of creating economic activity for the malays. a sad tragedy later repeated by halim saad and now by numerous others among the so-called captains of industry. i can only see it clearly now on hindsight, at that particular moment, the luxury saab turbo that he conferred , blinded me from all thoughts of caution, my thoughts were, hey here is the new kid on the block, watch out world.alas, i can now pinpoint this episode as one that defines my adult life thereafter, a life of the eternal pursuit of money ,debauchery akin to one led by the roman caesars as brilliantly elucidated by gibbons in THE RISE AND FALL OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE.how i wish i had read this momentous historical anthology early on .just as churchill did at HARROW.my outlook of life would have certainly been different. come to think of it, i would like my legacy to my children be the imprimatur that, READ AS MUCH HISTORICAL ANTHOLOGIES AS YOU CAN LAY YOUR HANDS ON, INCLUDING THE ETERNAL KORAN, THESE ARE EXPERIENCES AND AFTERTHOUGHTS OF PEOPLE AND THE ALMIGHTY WHO HAS not only set the principles of living but has blazed through it ever since man was created.it's like procedures and specifications in the engineering world. they are guides in the art of living!!!!!!

stroke / death

yesterday was a defining day for me. the day started innocuously enough, i did my regular suboh prayers and reading the yassin and then just as i was about to set out for my morning walk, my bowels signalled it's intention to discharge, which to me was very encouraging as monday is my designated bowel discharge day and the discharge then proceeded smoothly . off i lumbered for the walk to the cafe and then factory, which again proceeded smoothly. a few minutes after sitting at the cafe, i had this apprehensive attack that perhaps this is as far as my recovery will go and that death should be contemplated and preparation for it should be in place. considering that there are still numerous worldly matters that are either not resolved or in place, my apprehension esclates. calling my mother normally would induce a calming effect as her unreserved love and soothing words are a potent soothener to me. it did but not long thereafter the apprehension returned and refused to go all day until i received a wonderful piece of good news from my very dearest youngest sister late in the afternoon.
Ever since the fasting month last year, i have always been grateful to allah that he has not taken me away during the stroke onset, like many others. my analysis was that the stroke was akin to a severe jolt to remind me to abandon my wayward ways and that my survival of the calamity was like giving me another chance to redeem my standing and that good things are in store should i recant. this thought has kept me going in the last 7 months. however, yesterday, the apprehension was quite intense, most intense in the last 7 months.normally, one wish that one's wife would be the source of comfort,regrettably for me, the relationship with my wife has reached an all-time low , that positive interreaction is now all too elusive,my mother, youngest sister and my second son now having substituted my wife as the source of comfort. my main desire now is that before leaving this world I would love to have in place all the requisite things that a father ought to have achieved, just so as to emulate what my late father achieved, namely that all the children are safely entrenched in decent modes of sustaining their worldly needs and safely /securely attain a comfort zone for the rest of their life, in short having gotten married and a home and thus set in place their palace on planet earth. this remains an outstanding feature in my case,of which i calculated yesterday that it would be another 9 years before it willall materialise. in that sense, i am not yet ready for death. we are all of course continually reminded that death is out of our hands, that is god's perogative, having brought us into this world, it's gods perogative to determine when we will depart. we are in no position to hasten or delay it. posting this this morning, i am suddenly aware that i am still alive, alhamdulillah. by evening yesterday i was reasonably calm, this i believe brought on by the very great news from my youngest sister with regards to my last property on this planet and then culminating in that magnificient great big hug from my youngest, the chestnut, and his soothing words, baba, i don't want you to go anytime soon. what a day!!!!

batik classes

yesterday was an eventful day as for the second time we hosted approximately 6o lim kok wing university students who were here to learn the art of batikmaking.i have always admired this bunny toothed lim guy who had built up his university up to international standards inspite of having been born into the wrong race, i.e. political and financial patronage-wise. it's amazing how he built the lim kok wing brand all throughout the intense implementation period of our NEP. kudos to you mr lim. in contrast , i wonder how far will unikl , the mara university, go, it being flushed with the peoples money and practically no limit to spending, well, lets judge it ten years from now, ie in 2020 say , not fair to judge now as its relatively new.
the point of this posting is not about mr lim or unikl, its about the batik classes that we are offering. my wife seems to have organised it to a certain competent level, but sitting there and observing all the shenanigans, i can't help but feel that there is still something missing. upon reflection this morning, i have pinned it to the carnival atmosphere factor, that seems to be missing. maybe some music and jovial promoters can bring on that carnival atmosphere, worth trying it next time, don't you think???