stroke recovery / stem cell theraphy

looks like stemcell theraphy would be my best choice but which one? the likeliest is reneuron in the uk, hopefully they can offer one soon, although the likeliest date is 2010. thats not too far away. in the meantime god's grace is my best and only option, physical theraphy can only bring me to a certain level, something need to happen in my brain for recovery and that's god's territory

khalis/upsr

this coming week my youngest, the chess nut khalis, will start his upsr, lately he has been proudly conveying to me his test results, which are always short of the 100 perfect score. if anything it clearly demonstrates his carelessness, this boy is smart but utterly careless and cocky. regretfully he has had to suffer morehardknocks before the carelessness can be chipped away. thats one of life's ironies, i/e. the school of hardknocks

anwar /politics

it just struck me that all these politicians, mahathir, anwar, pak lah, najib etc.. werent these the same dudes running the country fifteen years ago and look where they have brought us? and yet now we still rely on these same clowns to lead us, don't we have any other alternatives?, maybe it's time to let PAS run the show, surely they cannot perform any worse?

puasa/ sembahyang terawih

after a day of puasa, sembahyang terawih is a powerful antidote, although it's tiring, i am beginning to enjoy the nightly sembahyang terawih and feel letdown when i didn't do it last night. it is a substitute for the early morning teh tarik at the warong. sembahyang ishak, terawih and then witir, it makes you feel good at the end of it just wish that allah had gerakkan my heart to practise this before, alas it's not too late, am determined to continue doing it from tonight till the end of ramadan.i of course rely on my good friend from this kamping, sidek, to ferry me to and from the surau where the terawih is only 8 rakaat compared to the 20 at the mosque.the best part is the quran recitation and the salallah handshaking at the end, it makes you feel that you are part of the community, much better than doing the ritual at home on your own.
i have been trying to memorise surah al-ala and whenever it's recited during terawih , i feel a tingle of excitement following the recital, almost cracked it now, moving on to surah addhuha next.

puasa/fasting

all my adult life , i have always previously dreaded the puasa month, a month of which i have consistently failed to observe one of the basic pillars of islam, thankfully i welcomed it this year as i am determined to puasa kerana allah, thankfully i have now managed the first 2 days and now entering the third day with the thoughts of receiving god's good grace in my endeavours to recover from my disability. alhamdulillah, terawih has also been observed , my doa is for god to make it easy for me to fulfill my puasa obligation for the remaining days. ya allah permudahkan puasa ku terawih is an enlightening communal experience, so far the only setback is a continuing back pain that comes and subsides and alternates every 4 or 5 hours. why didnt god imbue in me this joy of puasa and terawih before, why only after i am afflicted?, hopefully it's not too late to make good the neglect of the last 30 years, ya allah , give me the strength to fuilfill my puasa obligation for you. i have to fight any thoughts of not fulfilling this obligation, i must do it this year and all future years, inshaallah. let allah be my guidance and saviour, ya allah.only to you do i turn for salvation

ihsan

ihsan is my second and unlike the others, allah has blessed him with the purest heart, so much so that i have never known him to lie, conversely he encounters difficulty adapting to the real world with all it's twist and turn, every day i wish i could give him a big hug, yesterday he followed me to the terawih prayers ritual and my heart cries out seeing how comfortable he was in god's house. ya allah, kurniakan kebaikan dan kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat untuk anakku ihsan

agood book bill clinton's biography

i am currently devouring the first part of the above by nigel hamilton entitled an american journey, what a story i must confess that bill's tenure as president eludes my attention and not until monica came on the scene did bill clinton received my attention. nigel was complimentary enough to even confer an bill the accolade of the cleverest american president ever! what struck me was how he achieved his dreams of the american presidency by way of sticking to his gameplan upon graduation, something that was totally anathema to me as upon graduation my immediate priority were to find a job and then get married, nothing else was premeditated, nothing like being the ceo of a company or other, i just plunged into the real world and allowed events to unfurl without a moments thought of what i wanted my future to me. on hindsight, which is always easy, i would have wanted to be a politician considering my active involvement in student politics in the uk. this interest died upon attending my first umno meeting in the equatorial hotel in kl wherein all attendees first stood up to sing the umno song. such frivolous ritual going right against the grain in my character. today, the nagging what if question haunts me right to the core, nothing i can do but ponders on the possibility, if given a sec ond chance, of whether i would grab it with both hands, i feel i would and have this burning desire to be of service to my fellow human race specifically the underprivileged. ya allah , kurniakan kembali keupayaan ku untuk menggunakan tangan dan kaki kiruku