still holding out

miraculously, today is the fifth day of fasting and i am still holding out, another 3 hours to go.inshaalah, hope that i can maintain this undertaking till the end.

puasa is here!!!!!

i cannot recall missing or absconding the puasa whilst in the royal military college in sg besi, so the rot must have begun from the time i commenced my "A"levels in grimsby college of technology. not surprisingly, away from parental control and authority supervision, my weakness in mind allowed the reason for not fasting to steadily fester in my inner thoughts. so for years fasting period was nothing more than an irritant that was superfically observed and on a lucky day brings as it's reward, heaps of oily food.the situation deteroriates and spiralled downwards to such an extent where there were occasions when i would be at royal lake club bar serenading with my so-called friends even during the fasting month. mashaallah!!!!! now, into my fourth day of fasting, i am at last aware and understand all it's benefits, it's not easy, my craving for drinks and cigarette have to be continually slapped down, but for the moment i am winning, always fortified by the thoughts that my seventy year over old mother is herself at this moment in mecca,supplicating for my recovery among many others. if she is making all that sacrifices, what little i can do, pales in comparison

dangerous talks and a climate of uncertain

very much in the news nowadays are the very intensified confrontation between the government and the opposition pakatan. i have delayedthis posting to give me adequate time to ponder on the issue. well, i am now more convinced than ever that all these politicians from both sides are dangerously fanning the race issue, to an extent that i was privy to a private conversation between 2 kampung buddies wherein the non-malays are now the culprits in the H1N1 case, it being a larger conspiracy involving non-malay doctors to kill off the malays. can you believe that?????
thank god puasa, is here, perhaps cooling all this useless ardour.

our government , malays - pesta, kenduri

have anyone ever noticed that the malays and our government, who are predominantly malays would embark on a pesta, kenduri on the slightest excuse, whether promoting a new mass indoctrination, celebrating birth or death or hariraya, in short in any gathering of bodies, and on all these occasions there is the inevitable tonnes of food, mainly junk food.could any anthropologist or wannabe social commentator out there tell me, what is the appropriate name for this syndrome???

i can see clearer today

today, 14th. aug2009, is perhaps the clearest i can see in a long, long time. i guess the thing to do is stay put on this land, nurture our veritable hj.sedik whose job is in turn to secure the participation of the erstwhile tn hj. suhaimi ghazali as our chairman and patron. that , i believe is the road to pursue, inshaallah, we seek allah's quidance and his provenance to lead us to the best path.

walking is easier

syukur alhamdulillah, my daily walking is now easier but today am utterly depressed as nothing seems to be going right on the commercial front. dear god, what else do i need to do, or do i just wait patiently till october comes. please make it easier for me and please guide me towards the right path, ya allah.

NISFU SYAABAN

YESTERDAY, 6TH. AUG 09, WAS A SIGNIFICANT DAY AS IT WAS THE DAY OF WHAT WE MUSLIMS REFER TO AS THE NISFU SYAABAN, WHICH LITERALLY MEANS THE DAY WE START A NEW BOOK, I.E. STARTING A NEW CHAPTER IN OUR LIFE.so , the night before some of my siblings and my children, my mother,and yours truly had an informal prayer session to mark this occasion. for me, it was especially poignant as i would like to think that yesterday mark the beginning of my new post-stroke life.one that i am determined to incorporate all the lessons i had absorbed in the last 4 years, one that i dare hope will be more meaningful, fruitful and rewarding spiritually, financially and physically.
i marked the day by holding a first meeting among people whom i would wish to be close to and play a major role in my life, my second son ihsan, my new friend from this village . tuan hj sidek and a simple wonderful acquaintance, en hussain., in my future undertakings. it was a wonderful meeting and i would like to think that these confidants understood what i am trying to do with my life. i leave to god to determine this future path but i shall endeavour to shape it incorporating all the lessons that i have lived the last 52 years.inshaallah, allahuakbar.