spring in my affected leg

continued over the weekend with the dr jism theraphy 3 to 4 hours in the afternoon and 6 to 7 hours at night. just maybe that today there is a lot more spring in my leg and some tingling under the armpit, however still don't feel stable, the thought of falling is still there, thus still walking with caution. too early to tell, perhaps after 1 month, there will be some significant improvement, inshaallah

child of the NEP

i was a child of the nep,among thousands snatched away from our mother's bosom, from the fringes of malaysia's emerging cities and small towns to the depth of its predominant jungles, we were coaxed to institutions such as mckk,rmc, sekolah menengah sains where the ritual of thought provocation commences, then packaged as a promising goods right after "o"levels, and freighted to various so called dominant nations, england, usa, australia, to be further grounded till a piece of paper is awarded, b.sc. , ba, mba, whatever and returned to be the instruments of progress that our political masters wish to engineer, as they themselves are too lazy and insufficiently suited to perform, pampered then discarded as we get lost in the maelstrom of having a life. never for a moment were we informed that to reach the apex, membership of any of the bn component parties is a must. man, what a letdown, seeing that 50 years later, your schoolchums who stayed behind and climb the political ladder are now running the roost, jeez , the nep, yeah it got me to london, but i could have done without it.

money

early on in my working carrier, money was easily procured, salary and perks, especially benefits in kind, kept increasing from one job to another . then when i went into business from 1993 till the year 2000, man it pours, not just cash but my banker, pubic bank, was easy in their lending. with the slightest of effort, i would easily secure a project or bank funding. not now, i have been trying for almost a year, but still unable to secure not even 1 cents of funding, inspite of the beloved PROJEK RANGSANGAN OF OUR NEW PRIME MINISTER. MY DEAR PM, where are all the rangsangan money???. is it because i am not an UMNO member or not related to an UMNO stalwart??? i am desperate to do business, i have the knowledge, i have the collateral. why is it so difficult for me to secure funding???. ya ALLAH!!!!, what else do i need to do??? i have turned to you,seek your assistance, do my prayers, avoid whatever you beseech, why?????. all i want is to do something, contribute to society, guide my second son and then wait for your calling. money?, i have felt and tasted, it definitely is not the root of all evil, living is easier in this world with money. too much money is definitely a no, no. just enough to lead a meaningful life, cukuplah, dear allah

minute improvements

after 3 nights of dr jism theraphy, each night around 7 hours, there is perhaps a minute 1%improvement in my walking capability. difficult to fathom, but i do feel that my walking efforts are slightly easier. could it be a placebo effect or could it be that my mental frame is now better????. whatever it is i will continue selagi berdaya 7 hours at night and 3 hours in the afternoon. thanks a million al-jabbar.

wonderful dr jism

you know, whoever is behind this dr jism, i heard it's a guy called en kamarulzaman, is a wonderful, great guy. with free theraphy at various outlets in malaysia, indonesia and brunei, he is giving hope to thousands and mind you, where there is hope, there is life god bless you en. kamasrulzaman. i , of course have an ulterior motive in writing all this, if he could just loan me the machine for a while, i am quietly confident that i should recover my walking to a reasonable extent, perhaps with a limp, inshaallah.

stroked - 4th anniversary - god's gift, syukur alhamdulillah

you know, this mind that god gifted us is amazing, just by convincing myself this morning that my stroke is god's gift, i am feeling buoyant all this morning. yes, it's been 4 years since i stroked. some might say" how time flies". i would only say wow!!!!. what a journey. it was a free gift from allah, if i may elucidate herewith:-

1). the agony- physical - yeah being disabled means i can't drive to anywhere, cannot amble at a reasonable clip around my land, can't write, can't perform acrobatic sexual needs. why even shitting is a torment.

but, mind you i am still breathing, alhamdulillah, other people now drive me so no worries about petrol, toll, road tax, vehicle maintainance and most crucially, traffic jams additionally, bless malaysians, everywhrere i go don't have to worry about parking , yes oku parking right at the front.. cannot amble, ok i am now forced to appreciate the beauty and intricacies of nature at every step, everything was new to me, even the much despised lallang. can't write, wow what a good excuse not to write anything, there is the pc keyboard anyway, can't perform , thats ok, i let my partner do the acrobatics and just lie on my back and shout ahhhhh. it's my turn to say it's too bigggg. shitting is now almost back to normal, once a week, every monday morning.

2). mental agony :- initially , it was a time of why me?? what have i done to deserve it???,
eventually, wow great, this is god's greatest gift, a reminder for me to alter my wayward ways, where others aspire to be more religious in later life and failed, i am forced to slow down and turn to allah, as thats my only salvation. so, friends, the mandatory prayers are now automatic to me. this affliction is also a cleanser of all my previous sins, inshaallah, heaven awaits me, with all those wonderful virgins and flowing rivers underneath the abode.

yes, i have had a free education, compliments of allah. it's all free , no charges, no 2 plus 1 or 3 plus 1,syukur alhamdulillah.ALLAHUAKBAR
watch out world, i will be back sooner than you think!!!!!



basck to my aspirations, in my previos adult .life, i was a closet socialist, inshaallah, this affliction has reminded me where my sentiments and conscience lies, my reason of living is to make a difference to all trhe small people using my super god given intwellect, ALLAHUAKBAR!!!!.


so, to end this wonderful expiatuion before i get carried away, again allahuakbar , to all the friends i have made in the last 4 years and those who have been there for me, most especially my wonderful sisters and brothers and not least my mother, i love you all and god bless you.

dr jism theraphy. - second night

last night was the second night i laid on the mattress, this time for 7 hours. strange is i don't feel anything, no tingling sensation, nothing. however, when i touched another person or one of my children, there us that spark crossing the gap between our fingers and when my leg touched the rim of the bed , there is that tingling sensation for a brief period.
i would like o think that when i lay on the mattress, there is this small army of static current waves in hard hats and safety vests hard at work chipping away at the plaque inhibiting my vessels and veins, it would be great if there is an equivalent to the mri machine taking an image of the chipping progress, that way one can estimate how long the chipping process will take. at the moment it's just relying on trust and belief in the principle of the matter, due to the lack of any other verifying methodology, perhaps the makers of dr jism can explore this, after all seeing is believing.thanks a million, anyway. btw, at the moment i have yet to feel any momentous difference, sabar saja ya.